Robert Manners

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows Everywhere...

Now how did that song get in my head? My brain is like a jackdaw's nest: I can't remember simple basic thing... this week alone I forgot to give someone a phone number she specifically asked for, forgot about sending out announcements for a meeting until the day before said meeting, and forgot my keys in the office until after I shut the self-locking door behind me; but I remember things that most people wouldn't care to know in the first place... the events and characters in the life of Alexander the Great, the mating habits of snails, the meaning of words like repoussé and devant-de-corsage, the laws of British Heraldry, the combination to my locker in high school, and the lyrics to hundreds and hundreds of perfectly idiotic songs... all of which will pop into my head, unexpected and unwanted, without any provocation whatever.



And you know what? I'm sick of living in a world where you have to remember stupid day-to-day trivia like keys and phone numbers and tasks, a world where you're supposed to be organized and tidy... instead of a world where obscure knowledge and unrelated and useless facts are prized above all things. I'm sick of living in a world dominated by morning-people. I'm sick of a world in which competition is the order of the day, where effort and achievement are prized above calm and contentment, where people routinely climb over the bodies of those who stand in their way, where doing someone down in order to promote one's own selfish aims is considered an admirable pastime.



On the other hand, this silly old world of ours does have it's recompenses. Krispy Kreme donuts, for an example. Beefcake photography. Sunsets. Birds. Sparkly things. Fine porcelain. Porn. So I don't wish to leave this world just yet.



But then, since my only other option for gaining freedom is to gather together a vast cadre of like-minded individuals and wrest control of the world from the dominant paradigm of neatness, competition, and mornings — which would cost a great deal of effort and probably entail my getting up early in the morning and becoming rather more organized (which would make me just like Them and defeat the purpose of quashing Them in the first place) — I guess I'll just let all those tidy little fascists, all those competitive little tyrants, all those damned blasted morning people have control of the world... I'll just live in my own little part of it, and thwart and subvert Them whenever it's easy and convenient to do so.



So saith the queen... so let it be done.