Monday, July 21, 2003

I Have Something to Tell You All...

...but damned if I can spit it out! I don't know what's wrong with me the last few days, but the very idea of sitting down and typing fills me with a nameless dread. I have emails I want to respond to, I have thoughts I want to record, I have all sorts of things that I could and should and want be writing; and yet I don't seem to want to.

I seem, instead, to be existing in a state of restless lethargy. I can't settle down and I don't want to get up. Part of this is, I think, a reaction to the upset of our home routine, what with the painters and all; another part may be that I know that I have to do some ninth-step writing that is going to be painful and difficult and searching, and while I want to get it done with, I nevertheless resist starting it; and finally, I am simply tired... after weeks of doing too much, I can't seem to get back to my regular schedule of doing very little and enjoying it. I have been having difficulty sleeping at night, too (which I think has more to do with the paint fumes than anything else, though the unaccustomed heat has no doubt contributed).

Well, today I am going to do a lot of writing, whether I want to or not. I have some notes to type up from a negotiations meeting on Friday, and I would like to get those done as soon as possible (especially since my boss gave me the rest of Friday off after that meeting as a reward for having to go to something so distateful, two hours earlier than I usually start); I also figure that, while I'm doing it I might as well continue on and write up the minutes from the last executive body meeting back in late May (I wasn't at the meeting, so I will be working from a recording rather than from notes, something I have been avoiding). And if there is still time left, I will get started drafting a letter to a friend to whom I have not spoken in over four years.

Once I get all that off my mind, I can perhaps resume my ability to write endlessly about silly little things that I notice around me. But in the meantime, I leave you with a lovely little image:

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