Robert Manners

Now What?

I feel rather at a loose end. My great fanfaronade of avoidance has spun to an end and I've finally done the thing I've been avoiding doing all this time. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I wouldn't want to do it again any time soon, but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared... and it's such a load off!



My depression seems to have lifted, as well... when I woke up this morning, before the alarm went off even, I didn't wish I could stay in bed forever and ever and ever. I also went to the gym togay for the first time in ages, and felt really good doing it, moving and sweating and all that, something I haven't been able to do while the depression was sapping my strength. Hopefully I'll be able to return to Pilates, too.



And my tiara finally came in the mail, the vendor had accidentally written "Windsor CA" instead of "Oakland CA" (I can't imagine such a thing happening by accident, but I won't question it), which resulted in the week-long delay. I wore it almost all day, though I did wonder if it's appropriate to wear a tiara in a union office, and I did garner a few odd looks while driving around on my errands... but never underestimate the mood-lifting power of jewelry on your head.



So, now what to I do? This one big thing is finally over with, and this other big thing is over with for the time being, and these little things have all worked themselves out. What next?



I guess I can worry about my first live solo singing performance coming up this Sunday... I'll be singing "To Keep My Love Alive" by Rogers & Hart. It's a pretty easy song to sing, one of those things you can do with or without a singing voice... it's pretty hard to do as written, but it's pretty easy to take liberties with. I think it will go quite well, though I am going to have to try to practice more this week than I am used to practicing for shows.



I can also worry about getting by without money for yet another week and a half, since after paying my car payment and my student loan payment and my credit-card payment, I spent all of my discretionary income rather indiscriminately at the Great Mall on Sunday (though I got four fabulous evening gowns and a mess of CDs, including The Ethel Merman Disco Album). My lunch allowance has gone for another fur, it was too fabulous to pass up that auction, it's a muff and matching stole of stone martens. Yummy! So what if I starve!



Other than that, life is one long smile! It's nice to come through the storm and enjoy the calm weather. Doesn't give me much to write about, though... but maybe I'll have something to write about after I go see Graham Norton at the Alcazar tomorrow night with my dear friend Mary.



Hope your life is one long smile, too!