Hey! I Got It!

That job I applied for? The one I wanted more than any of the other ones I applied for? The one that pays really well and has fabulous benefits? The one in the gorgeous office tower with views all around? The one with the cute guys?

I got it! Yay me!

I start on Wednesday... I'll let you know more about it as the drama unfolds. In the meantime, I'm celebrating my ass off!

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?

God, I hate that question! And every person with whom I've interviewed this last week has asked me that. It's so cliche! And what really bugs me is that I don't have an answer. Shall I try to be funny? "Not looking for a job!" Shall I try to be ooey-gooey positive? "Doing something meaningful for the planet." Shall I be fantastic? "Cruising around the world on my three-hundred-foot-yacht while beautiful boys give me pedicures." Shall I be honest? "I have no idea... I just take it a day at a time."

So far I've always managed to come up with something useful on the fly, generally along the lines of "working in a challenging but stable environment in which my contributions are appreciated." That seems to push the correct button. Still, I wish they'd ask something original, like "what's your favorite movie?" or "when you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?" or "if you were an ice-cream, what flavor would you be?"

As you may have surmised by now, I have recently become proactive in my job search. My temp agency is having a dry spell, and so I have all this spare time suddenly on my hands; and what better time to hunt up a job? So I updated my resume on Yahoo HotJobs, I started cruising Craigslist after my email and before my message board, and began doing online applications with every large corporation I could think of... Bank of America, Levi Strauss, Clorox, World Savings, everybody with a building I can see from a distance. I applied for twelve jobs just last week, and am now waiting for those applications to come to fruition (successful or not) before starting another round.

It feels great, being proactive. I hate starting it, but I always feel better once a project is underweigh. And so this week I have three interviews lined up, one under my belt from this morning, one tomorrow at three, and a long one on Thursday. Last week I had an interview with what turned out to be a staffing agency, and the ones I'm meeting on Tuesday and Thursday have already pre-interviewed me over the phone (hence the "where do you see yourself in five years" question being repeated), so the one this morning felt very comfortable, and I'm not nervous about the coming meetings at all.

Well, I did get a little nervous... or, to be more specific, I got very self-conscious about my visible age. I mean, administrative assistants are not supposed to be middle-aged men... middle aged women, maybe, but male assistants are always young, aren't they? So after worrying myself about this no-doubt-idiotic and possibly-untrue idea, I decided to give in to a temptation I've been fighting for quite some time, and I dyed my hair.

It actually looks pretty good, I think; I used a semipermanent dye with no peroxide or ammonia, so there won't be roots or color loss involved... it just darkened my brown and turned the silver to dark gold, and will wash out in about three weeks, at which time I can decide if I want to make a practice of this subterfuge or not. And I think I just might... I mean, it took a good five years off me, covering the gray.





I mean, does that look like Forty to you? With a sufficiency of eye-cream, I think I could pass for thirty-ish. Not that it matters, of course, but it does give me a sense of confidence all the same.

In the meantime (because you can't spend the entire day applying for jobs), I have been working on a couple of projects here... specifically trying to get further into the eighth chapter of Worst Luck. I've finally got the general outline worked out in my head, but I'm having a hard time forcing myself to focus on it. When I do focus, I get a good deal done, but there are always distractions that I allow to take precedence.

One of these distractions is a good distraction, though: I'm collaborating on a graphic novel with my friend Indigo. My part of the project so far has been to design the house in which most of the action will take place, so that we have a visual reference for the backgrounds. So I got this new 3D Home Design program and have been tweak-tweak-tweaking with it for a couple of months, designing houses all over the place and revising the graphic novel's house three different times... starting completely from scratch twice. But I've finished that phase of the project and am pleased as Punch. It's just gorgeous!



So all in all, I'm in a very good place... I'm doing creative things, I'm doing practical things, and I'm enjoying life a lot more than I probably have a right to. And a lot of that is, I think, due to my new meds.

My doctor switched me off of Depakote and put me on Lamictal instead, which will (when I get to the full dose) also take the place of the Prozac. I went through a bit of a white-knuckle period when I had to quit the Depakote for ten days before I started the Lamictal, and I'm running just the weensiest bit manic (the job-hunt and creative projects on the plus side, the impulse control problems on the minus) as I very slowly progress into the full dose of Lamictal, which takes three months: one pill for two weeks, two pills for two weeks, etc. up to five pills, after which I add one more pill every week until I'm at eight pills, at which time I get a new prescription for one full-strength pill; it takes a long time because if you put it into your system too fast, you can break out in a deadly rash characterized by great seeping sores around your eyes and mouth... pretty!

But on the plus side, my demophobia is waning... I've been going to Court functions lately, and enjoying them as I used to. I don't get the sudden urge to be elsewhere when I'm surrounded by people. And that's all to the good.

Well, my darlings, I'm going to switch over to the novel and see if I can get some work done tonight while I'm flying high on Jasmine Green Tea and a creative/manic spasm. Toodles!

Who or Whom?

Since it is well known that my most princess-and-the-pea pet peeve is the misuse of who/whom in English grammar, I though it might be a good idea to bless the masses with my knowledge on the matter. So for your enlightenment, and for my jangled nerves, here is the simple rule:

All you have to do is turn the sentence into a question, then answer the question. If the answer ends with a vowel (he/she/they... and yes, Y is sometimes a vowel), your question also ends with a vowel (who); if the answer ends in a consonant (him/her/them), so should your question (whom).

Example:
- With whom did you go to the opera? I went with him/her/them.
- Who invited you to the opera? He/she/they invited me.

And while we're at it, let's remember that prepositions do not go at the end of the sentence. You cannot say (without making me cringe, anyway) "Whom did you go to the opera with?" It is always "With Whom"! The preposition must go first!

Now, of course, in spoken English this isn't such a big deal; if you go around asking your friends "With whom did you go to the sock-hop?" you're going to sound like a snooty queen. But if you're on television, giving a speech, or writing... for God's sake keep those prepositions away from the ends of your sentences!

Oh, and by the way, continuing your sentence after putting the preposition at the end of the clause is plain old cheating. "I can't find anyone to go to the sock-hop with because I'm ugly" is still incorrect! On the other hand, you shouldn't say "I can't find anyone with whom to go to the sock-hop because I'm ugly" because it will sound stilted and silly. If you can't say it naturally, don't say it at all. Instead, you can say "I can't find anyone to go to the sock-hop with me because I'm ugly" or "I'm not going to the sock-hop because I'm too ugly to find a date." Either are correct.

So now you know. Go forth and sin no more, my children.

She's Baaaaack!

Okay, so after two or three months of complete silence on this blog/diary/whatever, I've decided to come back. I needed the break, I've been slogging away at this spot for five plus years, and I was tired of it. But I miss having the outlet. I mean, I still do a hell of a lot of writing over on JUB, and have a blog there as well; but it's just not the same, the audience is different and the kinds of things I can talk about are different.

So, anyway, here I am back. Mannersism is one of the things I've decided to work on in this New Year of the Pig (I've also rejoined the gym, see below, and have a couple of other artistic projects on the front burner, including my much-neglected novel). In the meantime, I've transferred some entries from my JUB blog to fill out this first page a little better and to catch you up on my doings. See you again soon!

Impulse Control Problem

In most instances, I have the whole Impulse Control thing down to a science... I'm so good at it that I seldom ever do anything scary or risky or potentially dangerous, no matter how good an idea it seems at the moment.

Except, of course, when it come to spending money. I've been really good lately, saving up some money, paying my bills on time and all that; but something snapped this week.

First, on Monday, I let myself have a couple of treats on eBay... a crystal elephant and a spinning elephant ring (did I mention I collect elephants?) that cost very little, even with shipping... about fifty bucks, no big deal.

Then after work, I had to go out to PetCo to get a water filter for Claudius (you remember Claudius, don't you? my turtle?) so I don't have to keep washing his tank every few days. And while I was there, I bought him some new food, an extra charcoal-filter-replacement-bag and a cute little plastic shelf made to look like a natural growth so he can climb out of the water and bask under his basking lamp. There went eighty bucks.

And on the way back to the car I saw that Shoe Pavilion was having a sale, so I thought I'd run in and have a look at what was on offer... and ended up buying a pair of Rockport walkers almost exactly like the ones I already have, the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned and neutral enough to wear with anything. They were on sale! Not a great sale, but a sale nonetheless. And the ones I have are falling apart after two years of hard use. Then while I was standing at the checkout counter, I saw this gorgeous rosewood shoe-horn and bought that, too. Bye-bye seventy-five bucks!

Now this is all garden-variety shopping-addiction, nothing unusual from what I usually do whenever I have a little money in the bank. I just love to buy stuff, is all.

No, the impulse-control thing came up the next day. I was driving home, you see, and I heard this ad on the radio for Gold's Gym's Spring Special: no membership fee and only $19 a month. I used to belong to Gold's, but gave up my membership when I lost my job two years ago, since I couldn't pay the annual fee and wasn't going all that often anyway. But I've been wanting to get back into an exercise program to get rid of some of this extra weight, so it's been on my mind to keep an eye open for just such a special.

So I decided, upon hearing the radio ad, to go to Gold's and see what was up with this special. Of course it was the usual bait-and-switch, a great deal so long as you didn't want to stay with the gym for more than a few months, after which the $19 monthly fee would jump to $49. Fortunately, the salesman I talked to was the one who sold me my original membership, and he was able to turn me off that special and give me the re-enrollment package for former members: $50 and first-and-last down and $29 a month for a year (I don't do math well in my head, but I think that works out cheaper than the special).

This was a good expense, though I didn't feel quite right spilling that much money all at once, because it really is important for me to get back into a regular exercise program. But I was shocked at the speed with which I went from hearing a radio ad to plunking down $108 and agreeing to cough up an additional thirty every month in perpetuity... the whole operation took about twenty minutes.

When I got home, I was kind of jazzed about my decision, and started planning out what I need to put in my gym-bag, and when I should go, and all that sort of thing... thinking, at the same time, that I'd really like to have a better mp3 player than the crappy 250mg one I have so that I could listen to lots of different music while I was working out. What I'd really really like, what I've wanted for a long time now, is an iPod.

So I started browsing around on eBay and found one for only $89... or $102 with shipping. And without so much as looking at my bank-account to see if I could afford it, I clicked on the Buy It Now button and was the proud (if somewhat bewildered) owner of a new-in-the-box 2G iPod Nano, brushed silver color. The price can't be beat, but I should have used that money to pay the parking tickets I got last month when I forgot about street-sweeping day.

What I'm saying is, in two days I managed to spend a whole week's pay on everything except my bills. How the hell did this happen? And why do I let things like this happen? And why do I want so badly to keep going!? Like, why did I spend my lunch-hour today cruising eBay in search of a blingy rhinestone-studded iPod skin?

Do I have a problem? Do I need to do anything about it? I don't know... I do love to spend money, I love it more than almost anything else. But am I in the least in control of it, or is it entirely in control of me?

I wish I knew. I guess I'd better do some prayer and meditation on this topic. I don't like having no control over my impulses, it's scary. And if I am going to lose control over an impulse, why can't it be my sexual impulses?

In the meantime... should I get the pink rhinestone skin or the silver rhinestone skin? It's only fifteen bucks with shipping...

Merry Sickmas

Yay, I came down with a loverly cold just in time for Christmas! It is in fact the cold that the Grandmother just got over, so at least she's all sympathetic since she remembers the symptoms... the overwhelming fatigue being the the most dramatic. I also have diarrhea, nausea, and random aches. She had a lot of phlegm as well, which I've managed to avoid so far, with only a slight post-nasal drip and a trifling congestion in my chest and sinuses, easily cleared with a swig of Alka-Seltzer Cold.

Speaking of which, I am amazed that they've finally come out with a form of Alka-Seltzer that actually tastes good... I got the Orange Zest flavor, and it's quite delicious (also a very pretty color).

So anyway, there's all this work to do around the house, and I feel too crappy to do it, yet it needs to be done nonetheless. So I am going to have to push myself just a bit. I have to get the boxes back into the attic, for one, and dust the living room and dining room, then get to work on the dressing and yams, and the kitchen and bathroom need mopping. Oh, and I have to wrap all those presents I bought.

Well, I guess it could be worse. But I won't mention ways in which in could be worse, in case one of those nasty-minded Fates is listening in.

Have a Happy Holiday!

The Ghosts of Christmas Presents

Well, after giving it some thought, I broke down and decided to buy Christmas presents for my family. I had intended not to, due to my straitened finances, but I did a little jotting on the notepad and figured I could spare $150 without dying, and if I kept the gifts under $10 I could manage. And you know, Ross is right around the corner from the job I've been working this week, and there were a few other places I could get nice prezzies cheap, so that's what I did.

Actually, I started at a place called Tuesday Morning, so named because that's when they get new shipments of discounted housewares, decorative items, and other sundries. I didn't see much that inspired me, but in the very last aisle I found this odd thing that appealed to me so strongly that I had to have it... it was a miniature pitcher and saucer, like for a washstand, Dresden-style, done in gold and cobalt and bright yellow. Gorgeous, and $5.99.

Well, I couldn't buy just one thing, so I scoured the shelves again and came across some things that would do for various of my relatives... windchimes, facial scrubber machines, crystal candy-dishes, golf-themed desk-sets, stuff like that.

And then yesterday I went to Ross and finished up. And I found so many good bargains (sweaters, kitchen-canisters, etc.) that I was able to stick a few gifts for myself (a video and a back-support belt) into the mix while staying within my budget.

Though it was immensely tiring (especially since I have to park three-quarters of a mile from work, which is in downtown Berkeley and therefore a parking nightmare, and walk back weighed down with presents in the freezing rain), I feel a lot better about Christmas now that I can weigh in with some material posessions come Christmas day.

Our family has this big rather barbaric ritual, where we pass out all the gifts and then we all open them all at once, shouting thanks across the room in a deafening pandemonium that usually lasts about half an hour. Then we eat pie.

But the point is, we all shop for each other, rather than drawing names like civilized folks, and we open our presents in front of everyone and can see who gave what to whom. So of course, if you give a gift, you want it to be nice enough to bear scrutiny.

We're not really competitive about it, but I am competitive, and would feel bad giving someone a crappy gift, even worse than I feel not giving a gift at all. But now I have gifts, and I won't feel guilty receiving gifts.

All is right with the world.