@ Robert Manners dot com
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Saturday Check-In
So I've been on vacation all week, and the last few days out of town with the Grandmother, visiting her relatives in various distant corners of the state (Redding and Folsom, specifically). I had a lot of other plans about what I was going to do during this week: I was going to work on cleaning my room, I was going to install the new turtle tank for Claudius, and during the sojourn out of town I was going to work on the novel.
None of those things happened. I managed Grandmother's treat, but I was so tired after last weekend's ado that I spent Monday and Tuesday in bed; I actually made my room messier trying to find my credit cards (which I never use) so I could rent a car to take on the trip on Wednesday; Claudius's new tank is still sitting in the living room, empty; and while I was away I didn't have the opportunity to work on Worst Luck because I was too occupied visiting with people... to wander off on my own and bury myself in my laptop would have been rude.
I ate a lot, I drove a lot, I slept badly on strange beds, and I sat listening to people talk about things without being able to say much of anything for rear of upsetting Grandmother by appearing in a "bad light" to her nieces and nephews. But Grandmother loved it so much, it was worth all the discomfort and upset and lost sleep and gained weight.
MOOD
I'm at the full dose of the Seroquel, and I can't tell if it's just reaction to the weariness that inspired this vacation in the first place, and then having to drive for hours, or if it's the Seroquel, but I have been unnaturally tired all this week. Hopefully it will get better, I plan to start back on my exercise regimen Monday, and I expect that will help.
My mood, though, has been steady and pretty good. I felt terribly depressed this morning, and it lasted for much of the day. But I think it was mostly because of sleeping badly and getting too tired, but partly an emotional reaction to something that one of my cousins said when we were visiting... she said very proudly that she is a huge supporter of Focus on the Family, and I was so upset by that I had to leave the room. I just went to bed, so no scene was made, but it was horribly upsetting to know that someone I love supports a hate group like that.
She's otherwise one of the sweetest, kindest, most warm-hearted people you could ever meet, but she's been sucked into believing in this group because they pretend to espouse her beliefs in Christianity and traditional values. It's so sad, and so infuriating. And I couldn't say anything to anybody about it without making a scene that would hurt Grandmother, and I didn't have anyone else to talk to, so I just stewed on it.
Anyway, I'm considering writing a letter to this cousin to express my pain and anger with her support of an organization that works so hard against me and mine. But it might in the long run make more trouble than it would be worth... I have to think about it. In the meantime, I just have to hang on to the most positive attitudes and happy thoughts. My cousin's ignorance isn't worth making myself sick.
FITNESS & WEIGHT
Of course I haven't been to the gym all week. I haven't even walked briskly across a room. Instead I've been laying around all day, eating massive dinners, sitting still in a car, shoving down hamburger lunches on the go... it's no wonder I gained all my recently-lost weight back, and then some: 230 on the scale this morning.
Well, one expects to backslide on vacation. I just have to motivate myself to work a little harder to get back on track, and get back where I was before ces petits vacances. It will all turn out right if I keep at it.
None of those things happened. I managed Grandmother's treat, but I was so tired after last weekend's ado that I spent Monday and Tuesday in bed; I actually made my room messier trying to find my credit cards (which I never use) so I could rent a car to take on the trip on Wednesday; Claudius's new tank is still sitting in the living room, empty; and while I was away I didn't have the opportunity to work on Worst Luck because I was too occupied visiting with people... to wander off on my own and bury myself in my laptop would have been rude.
I ate a lot, I drove a lot, I slept badly on strange beds, and I sat listening to people talk about things without being able to say much of anything for rear of upsetting Grandmother by appearing in a "bad light" to her nieces and nephews. But Grandmother loved it so much, it was worth all the discomfort and upset and lost sleep and gained weight.
MOOD
I'm at the full dose of the Seroquel, and I can't tell if it's just reaction to the weariness that inspired this vacation in the first place, and then having to drive for hours, or if it's the Seroquel, but I have been unnaturally tired all this week. Hopefully it will get better, I plan to start back on my exercise regimen Monday, and I expect that will help.
My mood, though, has been steady and pretty good. I felt terribly depressed this morning, and it lasted for much of the day. But I think it was mostly because of sleeping badly and getting too tired, but partly an emotional reaction to something that one of my cousins said when we were visiting... she said very proudly that she is a huge supporter of Focus on the Family, and I was so upset by that I had to leave the room. I just went to bed, so no scene was made, but it was horribly upsetting to know that someone I love supports a hate group like that.
She's otherwise one of the sweetest, kindest, most warm-hearted people you could ever meet, but she's been sucked into believing in this group because they pretend to espouse her beliefs in Christianity and traditional values. It's so sad, and so infuriating. And I couldn't say anything to anybody about it without making a scene that would hurt Grandmother, and I didn't have anyone else to talk to, so I just stewed on it.
Anyway, I'm considering writing a letter to this cousin to express my pain and anger with her support of an organization that works so hard against me and mine. But it might in the long run make more trouble than it would be worth... I have to think about it. In the meantime, I just have to hang on to the most positive attitudes and happy thoughts. My cousin's ignorance isn't worth making myself sick.
FITNESS & WEIGHT
Of course I haven't been to the gym all week. I haven't even walked briskly across a room. Instead I've been laying around all day, eating massive dinners, sitting still in a car, shoving down hamburger lunches on the go... it's no wonder I gained all my recently-lost weight back, and then some: 230 on the scale this morning.
Well, one expects to backslide on vacation. I just have to motivate myself to work a little harder to get back on track, and get back where I was before ces petits vacances. It will all turn out right if I keep at it.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Picture Post: Gender Bendy
In honor of the Royal Grand Ducal Council of Alameda County, and its new Monarchs Royal Grand Duke XIX Jim Hall and Royal Grand Duchess XIX Lady Cranberry, a little schmexy-fetishy gender-bending:
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Saturday Check-In
I'm actually writing this on Monday morning, as this weekend was a little hectic and I didn't have the time-plus-energy matrix going for me. But I'm backdating the post to Saturday for the sake of feature continuity, so let's just pretend it's Saturday... I feel like it's Saturday, since I got to sleep in late this morning (I'm on vacation, y'know).
MOOD
I'm now up to the full 75mg dose on the Seroquel, and the mood continues good... for the most part. I have been experiencing a great deal of lethargy ever since I passed the 50mg mark last week; but I think I am adjusting to it, if a bit slowly, and the lethargy was just a reaction that is passing off...I haven't felt the lethargy the last three days. I didn't miss a dose of my Wellbutrin this week, either, though I almost forgot my Saturday dose and didn't take it until mid-afternoon.
On Saturday I was at the Royal Grand Ducal Council Coronation, and I didn't get all fidgetty and anxious being around people as I frequently have in the recent past. I was bored, and disconnected, but not anxious about it. But on Sunday, I was incredibly sad all morning, almost suicidally depressed.
I have a feeling, though, that it was caused by my being bored and disconnected at the Coronation... I was so looking forward to it, and had spent a shitload of money — $240 for the gown, $135 for the wig, $140 for the gloves (you can't get real kidskin 25-inch opera gloves in my size over the counter), and $80 for the shoes... I already had my jewelry, in fact the whole outfit was planned around the necklace Caroline gave me for my Sobriety Birthday in May — and was very excited about how I'd look; but the event itself was a let-down, so it was natural I'd be sadly disappointed.
Even though I saw in the mirrors that I looked as great as I thought I would, despite careful planning I left my camera at home and couldn't take any pictures of how I looked; and then the Coronation was so unexciting, and I was feeling lonely because I'd arrived alone and didn't have anyone to hang out with, and I ended up talking to a number of rather unpleasant people during the course of the evening, politeness riveting me to their unpleasant conversations when I'd rather have fled.
And while a lot of people complimented me on the wig (which was utterly towering), nobody said anything about the dress or the gloves or the necklace... though I don't like to make myself a slave to other people's opinions, a few compliments on something you planned very carefully and spent a lot of money on makes you feel a lot better about the time and money spent on what is really a meaningless frivolity.
So I think Sunday was just a reaction, an overmagnified reaction perhaps, but not my brain-chemistry making up emotions I didn't really feel (as it used to do). Anyway, I felt better by that afternoon, so it turned out OK. And I did get my picture taken, by a professional even, I just haven't got copies yet; but to tide us over, you can see me in this wide shot — looking like a behemoth next to the petite (though technically average height for a barefoot man) Grand Duchess XVI Satine Fabrique — taken by Rich Stadtmiller during the crowning ceremony:
That's our new Royal Grand Duke XIX Jim Hall and Royal Grand Duchess XIX Lady Cranberry receiving the bling lids. Congratulations to them! I hope that my new medication will make it possible for me to take part in this XIXth Reign, as I was unable to do in the XVIIIth Reign. I miss feeling a part of something, and I think it was this being almost completely uninvolved all year (I only attended SF Imperial and Ducal Coronations with the Court, I didn't come to a single RGDC event of this reign except Investitures) that created my feeling of boredom and disconnection Saturday night.
FITNESS & WEIGHT
I am conflating the two because there's nothing to report. I didn't go to the gym at all last week, I was too busy at work and didn't get out of the office before 6 any evening; I was prepping myself for a week's vacation by getting as caught-up on my work as I possibly could, and a little bit ahead wherever possible (that's the terrible trap of a week's vacation: you still have to do a week's worth of work, but before and after, rather than during, that week). The lethargy I mentioned earlier also contributed to this gym-delinquency, even when I had time to go, I felt so heavy I didn't think I could hoist myself onto a treadmill. But my weight did not change, it was still 224 on Saturday morning... okay, it was 224 point five, but a half a pound isn't enough to call it backsliding.
So until next week, à bientôt!
MOOD
I'm now up to the full 75mg dose on the Seroquel, and the mood continues good... for the most part. I have been experiencing a great deal of lethargy ever since I passed the 50mg mark last week; but I think I am adjusting to it, if a bit slowly, and the lethargy was just a reaction that is passing off...I haven't felt the lethargy the last three days. I didn't miss a dose of my Wellbutrin this week, either, though I almost forgot my Saturday dose and didn't take it until mid-afternoon.
On Saturday I was at the Royal Grand Ducal Council Coronation, and I didn't get all fidgetty and anxious being around people as I frequently have in the recent past. I was bored, and disconnected, but not anxious about it. But on Sunday, I was incredibly sad all morning, almost suicidally depressed.
I have a feeling, though, that it was caused by my being bored and disconnected at the Coronation... I was so looking forward to it, and had spent a shitload of money — $240 for the gown, $135 for the wig, $140 for the gloves (you can't get real kidskin 25-inch opera gloves in my size over the counter), and $80 for the shoes... I already had my jewelry, in fact the whole outfit was planned around the necklace Caroline gave me for my Sobriety Birthday in May — and was very excited about how I'd look; but the event itself was a let-down, so it was natural I'd be sadly disappointed.
Even though I saw in the mirrors that I looked as great as I thought I would, despite careful planning I left my camera at home and couldn't take any pictures of how I looked; and then the Coronation was so unexciting, and I was feeling lonely because I'd arrived alone and didn't have anyone to hang out with, and I ended up talking to a number of rather unpleasant people during the course of the evening, politeness riveting me to their unpleasant conversations when I'd rather have fled.
And while a lot of people complimented me on the wig (which was utterly towering), nobody said anything about the dress or the gloves or the necklace... though I don't like to make myself a slave to other people's opinions, a few compliments on something you planned very carefully and spent a lot of money on makes you feel a lot better about the time and money spent on what is really a meaningless frivolity.
So I think Sunday was just a reaction, an overmagnified reaction perhaps, but not my brain-chemistry making up emotions I didn't really feel (as it used to do). Anyway, I felt better by that afternoon, so it turned out OK. And I did get my picture taken, by a professional even, I just haven't got copies yet; but to tide us over, you can see me in this wide shot — looking like a behemoth next to the petite (though technically average height for a barefoot man) Grand Duchess XVI Satine Fabrique — taken by Rich Stadtmiller during the crowning ceremony:
That's our new Royal Grand Duke XIX Jim Hall and Royal Grand Duchess XIX Lady Cranberry receiving the bling lids. Congratulations to them! I hope that my new medication will make it possible for me to take part in this XIXth Reign, as I was unable to do in the XVIIIth Reign. I miss feeling a part of something, and I think it was this being almost completely uninvolved all year (I only attended SF Imperial and Ducal Coronations with the Court, I didn't come to a single RGDC event of this reign except Investitures) that created my feeling of boredom and disconnection Saturday night.
FITNESS & WEIGHT
I am conflating the two because there's nothing to report. I didn't go to the gym at all last week, I was too busy at work and didn't get out of the office before 6 any evening; I was prepping myself for a week's vacation by getting as caught-up on my work as I possibly could, and a little bit ahead wherever possible (that's the terrible trap of a week's vacation: you still have to do a week's worth of work, but before and after, rather than during, that week). The lethargy I mentioned earlier also contributed to this gym-delinquency, even when I had time to go, I felt so heavy I didn't think I could hoist myself onto a treadmill. But my weight did not change, it was still 224 on Saturday morning... okay, it was 224 point five, but a half a pound isn't enough to call it backsliding.
So until next week, à bientôt!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
No Scheiße, Sherlock
I may have mentioned sometime or other in the archives that I never rent movies, I always buy them... one of my few truly consistent behaviors is to return things, be they library books or video rentals, at least a week late, incurring late fees that amount to more than the cost of the object in question.
Silver Screen Video, where I usually purchase previously-viewed DVDs for very low prices (I used to go to Blockbuster, too, until I discovered their sinister Mormon ownership), has this thing where you can buy multiple videos and get a discounted price... three Tier 1 videos (priced $7.95) or four Tier 2 videos (priced $5.95) for $20. It's only a savings of four dollars, but the goad of saving 20% has habituated me to always buying three Tier 1 and/or four Tier 2 videos every time I buy. And as a result, I often end up choosing videos to fill out my numbers that I wouldn't otherwise have considered.
This habit has landed me some utter turds of movies (like Mama Mia!...I mean, a musical? Meryl Streep and Christine Baranski and Colin Firth? Dominic Cooper with his shirt off? It should have been fabulous, but it made me want to open a vein)... complete wastes of plastic and Mylar and paper; but it has also yielded a few gems.
One such gem was the Guy Ritchie action thriller Sherlock Holmes, which Caroline and I watched on Saturday afternoon. I was rather set against this movie; judging from the previews, it looked like the kind of testosterone-driven schlockfest full of explosions and empty of plot that I generally abhor. And Jude Law looked dreadful, which I consider a crime against nature.
But I needed one more $7.95 video, and Caroline suggested either this or Public Enemies, which I was also not interested in seeing (over-glamorizing criminals bugs me)... so I went with the Sherlock Holmes, thinking I'd at least get the pleasure of pointing out all the historical and character inaccuracies that were bound to be in there. I'm a huge fan of the Arthur Conan Doyle stories, and the Basil Rathbone movies, and the Jeremy Brett serial, so I'm a hard audience to please... still, a bad Sherlock can at least be torn apart and stomped on, which is its own kind of fun.
But I have to say, I was impressed. There was plenty of plot, and though I could not relate the characters in this movie to the Holmes and Watson of literature (just as one doesn't with Sherlock parodies like Without a Clue), I thought their characters were deep and well-rounded, the dialog precise and fluid, and the backstories well-illuminated without being brought into too close of focus; and though the fight scenes and explosions were rather more frequent and drawn-out than strictly necessary, they were ingeniously planned out and beautifully shot, so I ended up enjoying them.
The art-direction was absolutely luminous...the costumes and sets were a joy to the eyes and lent a depth of enjoyment that was at least equal to the writing and acting (I quite forgot Robert Downey Jr. is an American); the conceit of showing Holmes' thought-processes moments before showing him acting them out was quite interesting and entertaining. And the casting was superb, there wasn't anybody in there who rang false or wasn't interesting to look at.
The anachronisms were surprisingly few. Now, I could be wrong, but I think that Lord Blackwood, being a Peer of the Realm, would have been held at Westminster Palace rather than a common jail, to be tried by the House of Lords rather than the Old Bailey... but that would have knocked a big hole in the plot, so we can just chalk that up to artistic license; similarly, I don't believe the Home Secretary's office would have been in Westminster Palace, as depicted, but again it had to be there for the story to work. The one I am sure of was a restaurant scene where Sherlock was wearing an open shirt and cravat at dinner, which would never have been allowed in the caliber of restaurant that was depicted, celebrity sleuth or not... Victorian social mores were much stickier than that.
At any rate, it was a really good movie and I recommend it heartily if you find yourself sifting through the previously-viewed bins at your local video store (which of course is not a Blockbuster... it's very small-minded and vindictive of me, I'm sure; but ever since Prop 8, I count all Mormons as enemies until proven otherwise).
Silver Screen Video, where I usually purchase previously-viewed DVDs for very low prices (I used to go to Blockbuster, too, until I discovered their sinister Mormon ownership), has this thing where you can buy multiple videos and get a discounted price... three Tier 1 videos (priced $7.95) or four Tier 2 videos (priced $5.95) for $20. It's only a savings of four dollars, but the goad of saving 20% has habituated me to always buying three Tier 1 and/or four Tier 2 videos every time I buy. And as a result, I often end up choosing videos to fill out my numbers that I wouldn't otherwise have considered.
This habit has landed me some utter turds of movies (like Mama Mia!...I mean, a musical? Meryl Streep and Christine Baranski and Colin Firth? Dominic Cooper with his shirt off? It should have been fabulous, but it made me want to open a vein)... complete wastes of plastic and Mylar and paper; but it has also yielded a few gems.
One such gem was the Guy Ritchie action thriller Sherlock Holmes, which Caroline and I watched on Saturday afternoon. I was rather set against this movie; judging from the previews, it looked like the kind of testosterone-driven schlockfest full of explosions and empty of plot that I generally abhor. And Jude Law looked dreadful, which I consider a crime against nature.
But I needed one more $7.95 video, and Caroline suggested either this or Public Enemies, which I was also not interested in seeing (over-glamorizing criminals bugs me)... so I went with the Sherlock Holmes, thinking I'd at least get the pleasure of pointing out all the historical and character inaccuracies that were bound to be in there. I'm a huge fan of the Arthur Conan Doyle stories, and the Basil Rathbone movies, and the Jeremy Brett serial, so I'm a hard audience to please... still, a bad Sherlock can at least be torn apart and stomped on, which is its own kind of fun.
But I have to say, I was impressed. There was plenty of plot, and though I could not relate the characters in this movie to the Holmes and Watson of literature (just as one doesn't with Sherlock parodies like Without a Clue), I thought their characters were deep and well-rounded, the dialog precise and fluid, and the backstories well-illuminated without being brought into too close of focus; and though the fight scenes and explosions were rather more frequent and drawn-out than strictly necessary, they were ingeniously planned out and beautifully shot, so I ended up enjoying them.
The art-direction was absolutely luminous...the costumes and sets were a joy to the eyes and lent a depth of enjoyment that was at least equal to the writing and acting (I quite forgot Robert Downey Jr. is an American); the conceit of showing Holmes' thought-processes moments before showing him acting them out was quite interesting and entertaining. And the casting was superb, there wasn't anybody in there who rang false or wasn't interesting to look at.
The anachronisms were surprisingly few. Now, I could be wrong, but I think that Lord Blackwood, being a Peer of the Realm, would have been held at Westminster Palace rather than a common jail, to be tried by the House of Lords rather than the Old Bailey... but that would have knocked a big hole in the plot, so we can just chalk that up to artistic license; similarly, I don't believe the Home Secretary's office would have been in Westminster Palace, as depicted, but again it had to be there for the story to work. The one I am sure of was a restaurant scene where Sherlock was wearing an open shirt and cravat at dinner, which would never have been allowed in the caliber of restaurant that was depicted, celebrity sleuth or not... Victorian social mores were much stickier than that.
At any rate, it was a really good movie and I recommend it heartily if you find yourself sifting through the previously-viewed bins at your local video store (which of course is not a Blockbuster... it's very small-minded and vindictive of me, I'm sure; but ever since Prop 8, I count all Mormons as enemies until proven otherwise).
Sunday, July 11, 2010
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