A Month of Mondays...

I just can't shake this damned cold... three weeks now, it's been plaguing me. I thought I was over it on Monday, I felt so much better after taking last Friday off and spending pretty much the entire weekend in bed; but every day this week I've come home just a little more tired, a little more sore, a little more achey, a little more stuffy than the day before. I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't something else wrong, like walking pneumonia or consumption or spavins or vapors or something. If only I had health insurance, I'd go find out... but that doesn't kick in 'til next month.

My depression continues to walk all over me with golf cleats. Largely because of the illness, I'm not sleeping well... and when I don't sleep well, I get depressed very easily. And when I'm depressed I just want to kill myself, I think everyone hates me, and I not only withdraw from society but become rather insensitive to other people's feelings (which in turn pisses people off, making me even more depressed). If it weren't for the Prozac, I'd be such a mess right now.

I can't get caught up on my filing at work. Just when I think I'm almost there, I get distracted by some minor catastrophe, and when I turn back there's another pile of filing! Argh! I keep telling my supervisor that I'll have it done by "this Friday," and then Friday comes and I'm nowhere near done. Of course, I'm near done now, but only because I've been focusing on this project to the detriment of all my other work... if and when I finally finish the damnable filing, I'll have a backlog of data entry waiting for me. Oy.

My hair is a mess and I can't afford to get it cut because I keep spending my money on eBay before I even get it. I got some fabulous stuff, I'm all ready for both Halloween and the next three Coronations, but my hair just has to wait and suffer. As does my oil-change, money I owe the Grandmother, lunches out, and everything else I might want to buy between now and the next paycheck on the 23rd.

Of course I'm still fat, because I'm too tired and sick to exercise. I am taking an antioxidant supplement (green tea concentrate), which is helping the puffiness in my face and hands, but my belly continues to disgust me daily. I wish I could embrace the fat, love the fat, encourage a fat-man identity... but I just can't. I'm a skinny little bitch on the inside, and this big fat oaf on the outside is smothering me!

I have a headache, a neckache, and sinusitis. My car is filthy, my room is filthy, my turtle is filthy, and God only knows what my digestive tract looks like.

But other than that, life is one big deep bowl of perfectly ripe cherries, pitted and stemless. Tralalala!

Never Ever Jam Today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrjIVhIeGnw

I did say I would write more about what's going on in my life, but... well, I guess I lied, didn't I. The previous précis is enough... the details aren't really that interesting or important.

So, I still have that cold I had last week. It's lingering rather tenaciously, no matter how much sleep I get or how much zinc I take or how much orange juice I drink, it just won't go away. But at least I don't have all that bad of symptoms... the same cold is making the rounds here at work (I've decided that the company picnic was Ground Zero, only those who were there have come down with it), and several people have had to take a couple of days off. I have wanted to stay in bed, but I always somehow manage to have the energy to get to work and stay there all day. Which I think says a lot about how much I'm loving my new job.

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You know, Carol Channing was an amazing performer. I came across the above YouTube from Alice in Wonderland while looking for something else entirely, and the lyrics seemed to suit how I feel today (yes, I know... go ahead and pity me). I hadn't seen much of Miss Channing's performances, though... just her role in Thoroughly Modern Millie and a guest spot on The Muppet Show were about all I'd seen (aside, that is, from talk-show appearances on which she appeared to be unbearably daffy).

So I spent some time looking through things that had been posted to YouTube, and developed a deep admiration for her as a performer. This video, which came from The Dean Martin Show and features a song originally from the Broadway musical Mame, its lyrics altered for a newer setting, is absolutely amazing:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfzFAXAlA_g

Well, it amazed me, anyway. The lead dancer was pretty hot, too.

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I'm getting very excited about the upcoming elections. I ordinarily just make up my mind early on, usually before the conventions, and then ignore the whole thing until I vote in November. But after hearing Barack Obama speaking, I'm hooked. He's amazing! Galvanizing, even. Even the Grandmother, who hasn't voted Democrat since Carter (though she's still registered as a Democrat, she's been voting Republican for years... mostly due to her fear of taxation and distaste for other people's ideas about morality) was visibly impressed by the speech he made in Minnesota. And then we were watching the DNC...

No, wait... Grandmother was watching the DNC, but she was watching it on Fox News, which I wasn't about to let happen, so I changed the channel to C-Span and didn't tell her, so we both ended up watching the DNC without idiotic commentary from right-wing "pundits" and left-wing lunatics (that's Fox's MO, you know... the liberals on their shows are always kind of whiney or downright crazy, and they have a couple of right-wing crazies like Pat Buchanan come on so that they don't look too biased).

So anyway, back to what I was saying... I was watching the DNC when Joe Biden accepted the nomination for Vice President, and I was deeply impressed by his speech. I was also deeply impressed by his son's eyelashes, but that's neither here nor there. And I could tell that Grandmother was impressed, too... and then when Barack came out for an impromptu appearance and electrified the audience even further, I felt Grandmother reluctantly coming back over to the light side.

Then, a few days later, when I heard about McCain tapping Sarah Palin for his Vice President, I was ecstatic! Grandmother absolutely loathes female politicians... she thinks Nancy Pelosi is the Antichrist and has never had anything nice to say about Dianne Feinstein or Barbara Lee. She didn't even like Anne Richards, despite her deep-seated love of all Texans.

Unfortunately, they're all Democrats and this lady is a Republican as well as a wife and mother and all that jazz; further, Palin seems to be running a purely Pro-Life platform, and that will sway the Grandmother... she is horribly against abortion.

And yet, like most of the pro-lifers I've ever talked to, she's also pro-war. That never made any sense to me.

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Okay, it's time to change the subject... I get rather antsy when I talk politics, so no more political speech from me (except this... some wag on NPR has taken to calling Mrs. Palin "Caribou Barbie"... that's funny!)

So what else is going on in the world? Not a hell of a lot, I guess. So let's have a little beefcake, shall we?

Honestly

Sorry about the prolonged silence, kids... between the new job (so fucking busy), my reemergence on the drag court scene (I am now the Crown Baroness to the XVIIth Realm and planning to run for Grand Duchess next year), a huge family event (the Grandmother turned 90 on August 2nd), some allergy issues (who the fuck invented sinuses, anyway), and the semiannual depression (much better with the meds, but still there), I've just been overwhelmed.

I'd tell you all about it, but I really haven't got the energy. Next time, I promise. In the meantime, here's a meme I got from my cousin's MySpace page:

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Honestly:
You must be honest to take this survey!

Honestly, are you in love right now?
Not with a person... but I am deeply in love with my freshly manicured nails. I can't stop looking at them.

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
Sort of a grayish light blue.

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
This... I'm answering a meme on my blog.

Honestly, what did you do today?
I've been in bed feeling sick all day. I've done some reading, advised a fellow JUBber on how to do drag (at some length), fed Claudius, tried and failed to take a couple of naps, and moaned and groaned quite a bit.

Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
No, not really. I'm not repellent, or anything, but I'm not exactly beating the suitors away with a stick.

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Not by my standards, but probably by the Pope's standards.

Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
Sadly, yes. There are so many cute boys on those shows!

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
I'm seldom ever jealous. Envious, sometimes, when a person has something that I want.

Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
Shopping. Sparkly things. Shopping for sparkly things. Food.

Honestly, do you bite your nails?
No, but I dig in my ears with paperclips, which is probably worse.

Honestly, what is your mood right now?
Profoundly yuck.

Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment?
WHOM GODDAMNIT! I don't want to see anybody. I don't want anybody to see me. I want to crawl under the covers and never come out.

Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
Sort of. Some people know about a certain facet of my psyche, but I don't broadcast it as it would make me very unpopular.

Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
I try so hard to not hate people... but I do hate George W. Bush, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and the entire Religious Right sooooo badly.

Honestly, whoM/what do you want to hug right now?
Honestly? A live hand grenade.

Honestly, do your wrists hurt?
Everything hurts. But my wrists are comparatively unpained, when compared to my back, my head, and my knees. And, mysteriously, my right ring finger.

Honestly, are you in denial?
If I were, I'd deny it, wouldn't I?

Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
Sex? Like with another person? Ick. But maybe a little self-lovin' would help my headache. I'll have to give that a try when I'm done here.

Honestly, is it easier to talk online than in person?
I am a much better writer than I am a speaker. If it weren't for the internet, I'd be very lonely.

Honestly, does anyone like you?
I seriously doubt it. Well, I mean, everyone likes me... but I don't believe anyone "likes" likes me.

Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
With whom? Who are "they"? If they don't exist, how can anything go anywhere?

Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
Yes. Though I can't think why. Habit, I guess.

United by Pride, Bound for Equality

Such was the theme of the 2008 San Francisco Pride parade and festival, in which Caroline and I participated yesterday (much to the chagrin of our now-aching feet). We had a fantastic time hanging out, marching, and otherwise schmoozing with our friends in the Royal Grand Ducal Council of Alameda County, and then had almost as good a time wandering through the festival grounds.

Wanna see some pix?

There was one whole float full of Charos...

The Teatro Zinzanni Float, which was amazing...

My new husband (though he doesn't know it yet, and probably never will)...

Me in my festive best...

The Honorable Ron Dellums, Mayor of Oakland. My Grandmother can't stand him, so I made sure to get a picture with him (but it's on Caroline's camera, so the pic isn't available yet). The Grandmother and I had a little set-to about my participating in Pride, so I've been alternating between defiance and conciliation towards her all week.

General fabulousness was everywhere. So were dogs and babies. I rather prefer dogs, myself, but it was so cool seeing so many families with children about.

This is the contingent that marched (or rather vroomed) behind us in the parade... I was never very clear who exactly they were, aside from a lot of queers on motorcycles.

The Imperial and Grand Ducal Courts of San Francisco, and Mr. & Ms. Golden Gate, were in front of us in the parade.

Me again, in full-on parade waving mode...

I loved this sign...

The Barbie Support Group... very funny.

These guys were just fabulous...

And the blond on the right is my other new husband...

The Charos in action... note the one on the far left carrying a baby... the baby was fast asleep.

The quality of my new camera left something to be desired... you can't see how delectably hunky all the members of the Crunch gym contingent were...

There were a lot of churches represented in the parade. There has been a lot of Christian outreach to our community recently.

More hunks, this time on the Mamma Mia! float.

You might be wondering at the sparseness of the parade pictured above... the thing is, I had my hands full with the parasol and the waving, so I didn't take any pictures of the parade itself. So all of the pictures I took were in the staging area before the parade started and in the demobilizing area at the end of the parade. I wish I'd been able to carry my camera as well, as there were many fabulous sights along the parade route, but alas: of all words of tongue or pen, none are sadder than these - what might have been, etc. and so forth.

The dense crowds at the festival; mind you, this was before the parade was even over, imagine what a zoo it became later on! I had some difficulty with dealing with the crowd, but every time I started getting a little panicky, we lucked into an open space like this one, so I didn't have a breakdown.

When I pointed out to Caroline what her wrist was touching, she freaked out... fortunately she didn't notice it at the time...

One of the many dance areas in the festival...

And that's all for now. I took more pictures, of course, but these are the highlights.

It was a generally wonderful gay day, and we had a lovely time. But it was tiring! My feet still hurt, and my back hurts, and I somehow managed to get a slight sunburn on my face even though I was under that damned parasol the whole day... must have been from reflected light. I rather wished I'd been able to watch the concert (Cyndi Lauper headlined) or spend more time in the festival perusing booths, but one's age does tell on one in these events. Forty may be the new thirty, but my joints didn't get that memo.

In closing, here's a fun little slideshow I made (I'm still exploring MS Movie Maker, so it's rather amateurish) with one of my favorite songs.

A Blast From the Past

A few weeks ago, I mentioned something about an upcoming drag performance while discussing this & that on JUB; one of my fellow JUBbers asked me if I had any of my past performances on video that I could share. Well, at the time I didn't... but after a certain amount of aggravation, I managed to get some.

I had this videotape that Cookie Dough made for me some years ago, which contained two performances of mine (as well as performances from the rest of the Galaxy Girls); after some initial mishaps, I located said video in my bookshelves, and took it down to the local copy-and-imaging store to have it converted to DVD. After the modest outlay of $18 for the conversion, I brought the DVD home and tried to copy my performances off of it.

Which, of course, I couldn't do, because that's not how DVDs work. So I had to find some kind of software to convert the DVD into Windows Media of some sort. More mishaps followed... I tried screen capture software first, none of the freebies of which worked; then I realized I needed DVD-AVI Conversion software... which also didn't work (for me, anyway) in freebie form. I finally found one, though (Plato), which I was able to operate and which I will certainly buy once I have money again.

Now that I had the videos in AVI format, I had to edit them with Windows Movie Maker, which came installed on my laptop. And of course, I didn't know how to operate Windows Movie Maker, so I had to pretty much teach myself a new software all alone.

However, I finally did it, added titles and credits, then uploaded those precious two performances to YouTube so I could share them with everyone!

This first is one of my best performances ever, though the video quality isn't all that great (nor could one expect it to be... I mean, DVR to VHS to DVD to AVI to Movie Maker to YouTube? It's surprising you can see anything at all):


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS4Uv7gcWjc

This second one is not what I consider one of my better performances; it was notable only because it was so wildly out of character for me... and the video is even worse:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_21JVegUE00

So there you have it... Miss Me from six/seven years ago. Fifty or sixty pounds ago, too. It makes me want to perform again, though... I will be performing next month at the RGDC Ducal Ball, hopefully somebody will videotape me and give me a copy of it so I can share some more. In the meantime, I am going to upload some more of other people's performances from the videotape I do have; there were some great numbers on there.

In other news, the job is going fantastically... I just love being here. The work isn't terribly difficult, the people I work with are wonderfully nice, and the building, though slightly ramshackle in appearance and appointments, has such a great homey feeling about it. I pinch myself every day to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Well, speaking of dreams, I'd better go have one or two. G'night!

Yay Me!

Whatever you did, whichever deity you invoked, it worked:

I got the job! I got the job! I got the job!

I'm thrilled and relieved. I'm dazzled and delighted! I'm choking on my own spit!

The best part: the reason they delayed in offering me the job is because they were getting permission from the Board of Directors to offer me a higher starting salary than was listed! It's still not a lot, I am relying more on the feeling of accomplishment in the job than on the pay, but it's very satisfying to get a raise before you even start.

And I start on Wednesday, which gives me a couple of days to get my shit together, get my wardrobe squared away, and finish off all the little projects I've been meaning to do since I've been unemployed. It's going to be a busy few days.

And I couldn't be happier!

The Bearded Lady

As previously promised, I present Little Me in "all my Grissom-y goodness":

I really like having a beard. I like the way it covers up my jowls and the sag in my chin, and I LOVE not having to shave except to trim around the edges once a week. I don't really like the big patches of gray, and even gave in to the temptation to buy a bottle of beard dye (Clairol Just For Men)...though I haven't used it. But in general I am happy being a bearded person. I will miss it when I have to shave it off next time I do drag (which is slated for July 19, RGDC Coronation).

In the meantime, I am still waiting to hear back about that job. I am pretty sure I'm going to get it, based on overheard conversations reported to me by my friend who works there and told me about the job and encouraged me to apply in the first place; but being pretty sure and knowing for certain are not quite the same thing. And that little space between being pretty sure and knowing for certain is driving me nuts!

In other news, I am currently recovering from a nice session of oral surgery. I've been suffering from a toothache for a few weeks, and so I went to my dentist and he took an X-ray and decided that what was hurting me could be best characterized as "gross decay" and the offending tooth would have to come out. And, by the way, the one next to it is loose so it should come out, before it falls out on its own or gets abscessed. He told me that I could have them out right then, with a local anasthetic, but I remember all too well what it feels like to get a tooth pulled and would like to have rather more than a little gas and some novocaine... so he referred me to an oral surgeon who would put me under completely for the procedure.

That was great, except for my lack of dental insurance... the two teeth cost me $1065, completely wiping out my savings. Oh, and the need to take Vicodin for a few days after the surgery, which made me rather goofy and gave me nightmares. Then there was the "take it easy until the stitches come out" part; which, though quite pleasant in and of itself, unfortunately was terribly habit-forming, and so I've had no energy to do anything for days.

But now I can eat ice-cream again! That makes it all so worthwhile.

Anyway, I'll be off now, and wish me luck on the job thing. Toodles!