Robert Manners

It's Too Darn Hot!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate heat? Okay, so maybe I bitch about it every time it happens... the thermometer goes over seventy and my Druidic blood just screams out in agony. Especially if it's a dry heat or if it's muggy... that's just hell on Earth. I feel all sticky and grouchy and tired and stupid.



Of course, the rest of the country is still having Winter... they tell me the Northeast is blanketed in snow. What's up with that?



And if I had my choice between heat or snow, I would take the heat. Much as I dislike the heat, I haven't touched snow in fifteen years at least, and I have no intention whatever of ever touching it again. It looks so pretty and fluffy and nice but it's really just cold and wet and painful. At least heat looks uncomfortable. Hot air rising off of boiling asphalt, bright white sunlight roasting the trees to a dusty sage color, etc. And then there's always the added bonus of other people taking off their clothes (if one learns to look only at the cuties and filter out the horrors).



But you know, I have never been the type of person to feel better about my ills and discomforts when given the knowledge that someone else has it worse than I do. "At least it's not as bad as that other guy's problems," has never given me any comfort, so knowing that New Yorkers are shoveling snow doesn't make me feel any better about this goddamned heatwave. For the same reason, I never assume that people who appear to be better off than me are any less tortured by their problems than I am by mine. Discomfort, pain, unhappiness, loneliness, these are all completely relative to each person.



What was I saying? I don't know. I'm going to go drink some iced tea and take a shower. Have a nice afternoon!