Saturday, March 20, 2004

Nice and Mundane

What a hell of a week that was. Can it really have been only the heat that made me so angry and resentful and irritable and depressed? I was so surly and enraged, I'm going to be spending much of next week apologizing to everyone I yelled at or growled at last week, my coworkers and my friends and my sponsor and my Grandmother. It was very much like a low depression swing. So I find myself wondering: was it the heat, or was I having a bipolar episode?

I'm leaning toward the heat theory, since the heat-wave ended yesterday, the air is nice and moist again, the temperature hovering in the ideal 65º-70º range, and all is now right with the world. I got a good deal of work done yesterday, and then went to a really quite nice funeral (a friend of my Grandmother's from church, she was eighty and had severe arthritis and Alzheimer's, the service was short and interesting, everyone was happy to have known the deceased and glad her suffering was ended, and there was no lugubriousness involved), had a nice dinner featuring lots of meat (I finished half of Grandmother's chicken-fried steak as well as my own three pork chops), got into bed at ten-thirty and read some nice porn, then slept really well for almost ten hours. And now I feel just peachy.

So peachy, in fact, that as soon as I'm done here, I am going to tackle my room for a couple of hours. Then I am going with Caroline to the RGDC Motown Show at the Rainbow Room in Hayward; I'm not performing in the show, but Caroline and Angelique are. It will be nice to go to a show and not have to do anything, although I have always found drag shows in which I am not performing to be rather dreary. But without performing myself, there isn't the two hours prep-time nor the hour or so un-prep time to factor in, and I will be perfectly comfortable in whatever Saturday schleppwear I decide to don for the event (perhaps I'll just throw a Hawaiian shirt over the flame t-shirt and khaki board-shorts I'm wearing now).

I will be performing tomorrow, in the Studs & Stilettos Show, also at the Rainbow Room... I don't know if it's a Grand Ducal event or a Leather Council event, but I promised the host I'd be in it. Me and my damned scrupulous honor. Oh, well, it might be fun, and another good reason to wear my fabulous black satin lace-up boots. What I'm going to wear them with, I have no idea, nor any idea what song to perform. I was thinking Ella's "Everything I've Got," which is all about spousal abuse ("I've a powerful anesthesia in my fist, and the perfect wrist to give your neck a twist; there are hammerlock holds, I've mastered a few, and everything I've got belongs to you")... but I think I performed that recently, though I can't for the life of me remember where or in what context.

My life feels so boring. But I'm content. I wish for passion and intensity of some kind, but I'm perfectly content, today, to just wander through my dull little life without rocking any boats or upsetting any applecarts. It's not what I want, but it'll do for the time being.

Well, off I go to clean out my drawers, break down these boxes that are in my way, repack this plastic crate of keepsakes, and haul everything down to the garage for disposal or storage. Kisses!

The caption is too easy...

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