Robert Manners

Another Friday, Another Blah

Ah, here we are at another Friday, the day for feeling stupid, the day for surfing porn, the day for catching up with all those little things in the office, the day for wishing I were lying on a beach somewhere far away from here where it is warm and balmy and a hot tight-muscled blond boy is serving me a glass of mango nectar with an umbrella in it.



But there's one bright spot on the Friday schedule: yet another installment of the Friday Five. Rather a lurid topic. Brace yourselves for nastiness:



1. Have you ever had braces? Any other teeth trauma? I was supposed to get braces when I was twelve to correct a small overbite and a majorly crooked front tooth, but Daddy lost his insurance before we got past the mold-making process. However, my mouth has been a constant source of trouble to me, starting with having two canine teeth growing upward from my hard palate (surgically removed at age ten) to the latest tooth extraction wherein the molar in question broke into several small pieces during the extraction process...it's a very distinctive noise, tooth-breaking, and I hope to never hear it again as long as I live.



2. Ever broken any bones? No. My bones are freakishly strong. I broke my toe once, but that was a cartilage-break, not a bone-break. It hurt a lot.



3. Ever had stitches? Yes, but only from surgery. Three from oral surgeries (see above, then add the wisdom teeth), one from having an infected lymph node removed from under my chin, and one when I was a baby and had a duct-cyst removed.



4. What are the stories behind some of your [physical] scars? The scar under my chin is from the abovementioned surgery, and the one on my groin is also from above...but I think the most amusing scar I have is a tiny little burn-scar on my upper lip (now so small that you can barely see it) that I got when I was seven or eight: we were roasting marshmallows at the fireplace one winter's evening, and I started eating one of them before I noticed that it was actually on fire (those little blue flames, so hard to see). I set my whole face on fire, pretty much, starting an amazing panic among the womenfolk (my stepmother and -sisters were such drama queens) before I managed to put it out. I had a fabulously hideous burn all around my mouth and along the right side of my face for quite some time, but the only lasting scar was the little bit along my upper lip. I also have a tiny (but once-huge) scar on the palm of my right hand where was holding a bobby-pin that I decided to shove into an electrical socket when I was three.



5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? I'm going to put up shelves! Basically, I have too much stuff in my room, and most of it is books and clothes. So I'm going to Home Depot and then IKEA and getting a bunch of shelves...wall-mounting, free-standing, closet-organizing, and anything else I can get my hands on for less than $300. Then I am going to rearrange my room for maximum storage space. That ought to take the whole weekend.



Well, that's all for me right now. I'll probably have more to say later on, when I am avoiding doing all the work that is involved in reorganizing my room. In the meantime, here's a little slice of cake for you: