Robert Manners

Hello, July!

So SF Pride Weekend and its concomitant commitments (Shiloh's and Paul's birthday party, the Pink Party, Miss Gay Marin Contingent march in the Parade, the Pride Festival, and the Sobrie-T Dance) just came to a close, finishing off the month of June with one hell of a bang! (Please read my Pride reminiscences below...I worked on them a long time, please read them! I'm begging you...)



And now here we are in the beginning of July, with the Living Sober Weekend and its concomitant commitments about to rain down on me. In the next two days, I have to get a new pair of black or white or black-and-white pumps to go with my new black-and-white polka-dot dress, as well as shopping bags from Saks, Nieman's, Macy's, and any other ritzy stores I can think of, before Friday...the night of the Main Meeting and Dance, the drag queens like to get together and present a theme, and this year's theme is Streets of San Francisco. I am coming as Miss Union Square, of course...demure little dress, cute shoes, severe pageboy hair, maybe a pashmina and cute little hat if I can find them, with shopping bags on each arm.



On Thursday, of course, we have the Fourth of July, which is a Manners Family Holiday, traditionally held poolside at my aunt Terry's house in San Jose. Swimming with people who are fatter than I am, big barbecue meal, homemade peppermint ice cream, and a game of either Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit (usually the Baby Boomer edition, which levels the playing field somewhat), along with the usual family fellowship. Hopefully we'll finish up early enough that I can get to Barry's party in El Sobrante, where most of my friends (in whose fellowship I prefer to revel) will be. I love my family, but they aren't nearly as fun as my friends.



Friday is going to be long and arduous and lots of fun, with committments all over the place, hanging out in the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium for a full sixteen hours, from 10 am to 12 am. Then I come back on Saturday for another eight hours of conference. These conferences are always great...there are workshops on various topics related to sobriety and recovery, lots of new people to meet (many of whom are really cute), lots of good friends to schmooze and hang with, lots of great meetings with spectacular speakers imported from all over the country, lots of fun activities like karaoke and dancing and even a musical! It's usually the highlight of my summer (though it will be hard pressed to compete with Pride this year...have you read below yet? Don't make me beg again).



So the blogging will be sporadic, at best, for the next few days. I'll be in the office tomorrow, but only briefly, as I have to get out to Union Square and get those bags. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I'll be out of the house. Sunday, I'm sure I'll be comatose. But maybe I'll be able to check in briefly with you all, my beloved readers. If not, read an archive or two.



And now, for the...

Tuesday Too # 19..."The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." - Benjamin Franklin

1.) What do you find most troubling about your way of life? If your life is carefree please give me a hint, which has nothing to do with winning the lottery. My life isn't quite care-free, but I do know that the fastest way to become carefree is to not care about anything.



In my life, though, what troubles me most is the inertia. I have a fairly carefree life, no real debts, no real drama, no big worries. But there are things I would like to change...the sloppiness of my waistline, for instance, or the messiness of my room...but whenever I try something new, it is crushed under my habitual inertia. I can start an exercise regimen or a diet and do really well for a couple of weeks, but then something will come along to distract me, like an event or a depression or an unusually trying workweek, and the whole thing goes straight to hell and I'm right back where I started (if not in a worse position). Or I'll spend a couple of weeks cleaning my room and finally get it into pristine condition, and then I can keep it that way for a couple of weeks...but then something will happen, an event or a depression or an unusually trying workweek, and the next thing I know I'm up to my earlobes in dirty laundry and half-read books and credit-card receipts and old coffee cups.



This really bugs me, and it is one of the things I don't actually know how to fix...the root of all the minor troubles I do know how to fix. But I pray about it, and I talk about it to friends and mentors, and eventually I'll start reading self-help books about it. In the meantime, I just try to accept is as a handicap or disability...something I can learn to work around, but not before I accept and understand it.



2.) What is your prescription (non psychotropic), or outlet for dealing with stress and anxiety? My higher self recommends prayer and meditation for relief of stress and anxiety; I even do practice these things when I can. But sometimes the stress and anxiety get to a point where prayer and meditation aren't quite fast enough. So I have a good old stand-by happy-making outlet: Shopping. Like many people who grew up without possessions, I find possessions very soothing...especially new possessions. A piece of jewelry, a new pair of shoes, an amusing or attractive objet d'art, a new sweater or some nice pants...any of these has the power to give me a quick lift of spirits. Oftentimes the purchase need not be a possession...taking a friend to the movies, having a luxuriously nice dinner, bringing a big box of chocolates into the office, getting some nice little something for someone else, can dispel the malaise and brighten the day.



3.) What's the real reason you get up every morning? Because I have to...shopping costs money, as does everything else I like to do, and since I don't have a trust-fund or a skill that can be marketed in my own sweet time, I have to get up and go to work. But really, if I didn't have to go to work, I would get up out of bed anyway (but probably not at any time in the morning...I prefer noonish for arising), if for no other reason than to move around and interact with people. I love doing things, seeing people, visiting, traveling about, looking at stuff, going to new places, taking part in various activities...so long as they aren't too strenuous or irritating. And even on those days where I do stay in bed all day, one has to get up to potty, to get a snack, and to replenish the beverages.

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Well, that's all for today. Oh, wait, not all...here's something else: if you can think up a good caption for this picture, leave it in the Commentary box.