Wednesday, August 21, 2002


The sucky trend continues: I just got back from getting my dental X-rays done, and it appears that the main trouble is a filling, which has come loose from it's moorings because there's a cavity under it; but wait, it gets better... the cavity is touching a nerve, which is why it hurts so damned much; to make it all the more interesting, there is an abscess forming under the cavity; and to put the cherry on the cake of my day, I can't get anything done about it FOR A MONTH!!! The dentist referred me to an endodontist, and the endodontist is booked solid until September 17th. That is four weeks from now, boys and girls. Four weeks of chewing on one side of my mouth, living on lukewarm soup and oatmeal, eating no sweets, swabbing with Orajelled Q-tips, and guzzling ibuprofen (the dentist will give me Vicodin if I need it, but I am going to avoid that route as long as possible).

I just feel like weeping. Or screaming. The desire to put a shotgun in my mouth has never been stronger. Not that I'd ever do such a thing, mind you (sooooo messy... and hell, I don't even know where to get a shotgun), but it just seems like a logical response and remedy to this much dental anguish.

Oh, well, what the fuck. It's still better than a lot of other things that could happen to a person: at least I'm not living in an Islamic fundamentalist nation, nor am I living in the Midwest; I do not have oozing sores or necrotic extremities or suppurating ulcers or prolapsed innards. Whatever is wrong with me today, I can find some satisfaction in the knowledge that things could be worse. Not much satisfaction, but some.

I can even see a trace of silver lining here: imagine what a sugarless liquid diet will do for my figure! This is a perfect opportunity to shed a few pounds, n'est-ce pas?

So anyway... I was in a pretty good mood before I learned about the above. Maybe I can recapture it. I'm going to go do something fun for a while... surf beefcake, perhaps? (Recently discovered fun site: The Boy! Venezuelan fashion-models! It's in Spanish, but you'll figure it out) Maybe play with my Sims? Maybe put on my hat and walk around the lake? Maybe just go home and curl into a fetal position with a pot of tea and a good book (currently reading California Screaming, which is pretty good so far).

Whatever I do, it will not be able to involve shopping or candy. No money, no sugar. Waaaaaah!

Oh, just shoot me, okay?

No comments:

Post a Comment