Thursday, April 3, 2003


Turn and face the strange! It seems lately every time I do turn around, there's something strange and new right behind me. Like this thing:

Its our new Kyocera Mita photocopier, which replaces an older, much larger, and less powerful Sharp machine. That old machine had its shortcomings... many of them, I might add... but I was used to it. This new one gives me a start every time I turn around in my office. All that extra space on either side of it, which had been taken up with the old machine that was twice its size, makes me very uneasy. It's so damned fancy-looking, too. I keep expecting it to start moving around and smart-mouthing me.

On the other hand, I am very excited by this change. This copier will (once I've learned how it works) do all the things that I used to have to go to the printers' to do. Like printing my book-folded newsletters. Or sorting and stapling hundreds of two-sided copies, such as when I print up the annual fee-payers' notice. And there's probably more that I don't know about yet... a lady is coming out to teach us how to use it next week (and by "us" I mean "me"... though my coworkers will no doubt listen to and learn from the trainer, as secretary and office-manager that machine is for all rights and purposes my own privelege and burden). And besides its advanced technology, it's quiet! The old machine was very much like running a vacuum cleaner and a Model A Ford in my office at once (and God help me if the jet-engine furnace was on, too); but this one is more like a small child playing in the corner... it makes noise, but you can still hear the radio and the telephone when it's running.

Another change just came into my life, about which I am undilutedly excited: my bank just approved me for my first-ever credit card! At the ripe old age of 35, I have finally joined the rest of the world in their ability to sink themselves up to their nipples in debt. But keeping in mind that I didn't learn to drive until I was 29, and didn't graduate from college until I was 31, I figure I'm right on schedule for fiscal responsibility.

My patience was rewarded, too... having waited to clear up my credit rating, through switching all my bills to electronic transfer and letting the bad credit of my former late bills (and a little confusion about County Assistance repayment) slide off my credit report, instead of the cheesy-cheapie card that many first-time credit-users get, Bank of America validated my existence with a platinum card, replete with $5,000 initial limit and a fixed 8.9% APR (which friends tell me is pretty good... I don't actually understand what that means).

I'm very thrilled by this! I can now rent a car in my own name, all by myself! I can check into a hotel all by myself without having to pay up front! I can buy something even if I can't afford it right now without having to borrow from Grandmother!

Of course, I am terribly cognizant of the dangers of credit. One of the reasons I never had a credit-card before is that I was afraid of them. I mean, my impulse control flies right out the window when I am confronted with retail treasures. I can totally see myself maxing out the card in one afternoon at Neiman Marcus, or on a blind spree through The Great Mall. So I am going to keep this card at home in my desk, keeping it "warm" with small online purchases (my Uncle and Caroline both tell me that a routine of discreet purchase and prompt payment every month inspires confidence and higher credit-limits from my bank), while I continue using my Visa check-card for everyday purchases. And then, when Miss Marjorie drops dead (or perhaps even if... though the interior appointments are all falling off, the old broad's engine keeps running sweet as a nut), I'll either be able to buy another car outright on my credit card, or get more attractive financing due to my more evolved credit-rating.

So that's what my life is like today. I have to scurry along and shower and shave and dress for another day of labors. I have to stop by the paper-supply (and hopefully run into the delicious Daniel) to get some 11x17 buff paper for my newsletter, and then by the grocery-store to get the snacks for the Executive meeting this afternoon (my boss wants me to start including meat in the tray... he's quite the afficionado of flesh). Once done with that, I get to do a whole hell of a lot of printing, while drafting checks for the office bills and doing the usual phone-answering and question-answering and so on and so forth. This is going to be one of those days that make up for the days when I sit on my ass and alternate between blogging/porn-surfing and staring into space.

I hope your day is beautiful. Remember: if the world hands you lemons, you cut them in half and throw them right back in his little asshole face! Aim for the eyes!


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