Robert Manners

Hump Day

Well, this is turning out to be a very boring day. The Boss-Lady isn't coming in, and coworker BB is on vacation, and other coworker JB is out sick. I'm sitting here all alone, and the phone isn't even ringing. I guess I could clean up my desk, catch up on some filing, and/or tidy up the mail room...but these laudable things are just not going to happen today. I think I'll take a long lunch, and maybe a walk around the lake? Or just sit here and surf porn the rest of the day. But before I get started on that, let's jot out today's Alliterative Weekly Meme.



The Wednesday Whimsy: Jobs



1. When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a butler, or a tap-dancer, or a magician...pretty much anything where I could wear a tux and be either supercilious or flamboyant or both. I had a fascination for tuxedos, and it rather surprises me that I've not bought one yet. I also had a great fascination for dance, and am very disappointed that I was never able to pursue tap or ballet in my childhood. I could have pursued it later, but, like the tuxedo, I just haven't.



2. If you could have any existing job anywhere in the world, what would it be?

I would love to be a nationally-syndicated advice columnist. Or an interior decorator. Or perhaps a fashion designer. The latter two were my planned professions when I was in high-school, but the training and competition sort of turned me off them (color theory was unspeakably boring, and I broke every sewing machine I touched). The former I tried to start here on the blog, but unfortunately most of the people I know are quite capable of handling their own affairs and didn't need my advice...I guess I don't know enough stupid people?



3. If the leader of the world told you that you could create any made-up job positions that you wanted, what would they be?

(Why can't I be Leader of the World? Okay, I'll play along...)

First, I would be created International Arbiter of Taste. I would be empowered to destroy or punish tackiness, ugliness, and poor design. I would lead international symposia on how to obliterate crudeness of actions as well as objects from our universal consciousness. I would found Schools of Aesthetics and Propriety to ensure that my message of Unviersal Perfection would live on beyond me.



Next, I would have to create the International Manager of Kindness, who would have to keep the Arbiter of Taste in check, and who would further be empowered to encourage kindness in all the citizens of the world (the position would only be open to Grandmothers). Finally, to keep everything on an even keel, there would have to be the International Chairperson of Levity, who would prevent the Arbiter of Taste and the Ensurer of Kindness, as well as the governments and citizenry of the world, from taking things too seriously.



4. Describe a recent dream.

I had really strange dreams last night, so strange that I wonder if I ate something I shouldn't have...I mean, all dreams are 'strange,' that's what makes them dreams, but some are stranger than others. Everything was extremely sexualized, very confused, and completely bizarre. The only thing I remember clearly was a silk kimono that was jade green with gardenias printed on it. I wanted to get hold of the person wearing it so that I could find out where he or she got it...so that I could get the material for a rattan sofa that was for some reason very important to me. A lot of other things in the dream were green, too, I remember when I woke up I was inspired to do some reasearch on the symbolic values of the color green.



Having done said research, (here and here and here and here), I discover that green in dreams can mean, among other things: fertility, renewal, wealth, health and growth; can also mean, news from a distance or upcoming travel, success, good luck, prosperity, money, rejuvenation, ambition, and serenity; there are projects which you are enthusiastic about; great pleasures from simple things.



Okay, that doesn't make any more sense. I guess people associate green with verdant pastures, plant-life, and money. I'm not so sure that these are my immediate associations, or subconscious associations. But if so, I seem to be yearning for the above things, since I spent so much time in the dream chasing after green things.



Here's something lovely and green to chase after: