Friday, April 19, 2002

Survey Says...

TMI! TMI! TMI! (last updated at around 11:30pm, for the VERY last time, and now I mean it!)

Someone I read almost daily was once taken to task by another regular reader for altering his blog posts after the fact; now, I tend to go back and edit my posts seven or eight times, as I am a little bit of a perfectionist and am always finding little errors in syntax, grammar, and spelling after I post-&-publish, or realize that I was on my way to making a very important point but got lost in my parentheses and ellipses so I have to go back and clarify the point.

But this is the first time I have purposely altered my blog post after posting it. I not only added to it during the course of the day, but I changed the actual content to match with the new information. Yes, I suppose I could have just kept adding the info as separate posts, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun, would it? And this way, I could even change my survey answers as I went along, which will give you a much better idea of exactly how psychotic I really am.

If you're joining me for the first time since I started this, here's what happened: I was getting behind on the Friday Five again, and I was wandering around looking for other surveys and found some interesting ones; plus I'm getting bored with these voluminous self-historical progressions one after another. And if I'm getting bored with my writing, you, my faithful reader, must be absolutely comatose.

So what I decided to do is this: last night I posted this week's Friday Five, just after midnight; then last week's Friday Five; during the course of today I followed with selections from a survey I created for the Galaxy Girls' Yahoo Group; after that, I started adding survey questions from other places until I had the Web's Longest Survey (Oh, my God, 172 Questions!). This is going to take a while, so you might want to go get a nice beverage and make yourself comfortable.

The Longest Web Survey Ever

Ready? Set? Go!

The Friday Five for April 19, 2002

1. What's your favorite TV show and why? My "public" answer would have to be Six Feet Under; it's beautifully written, compellingly portrayed, cinematically shot, and just quirky enough to keep my attention. However, my real favorite is my guilty little secret: Queer as Folk. Yes, it's usually badly written; yes, it tends to be unbelievably trite; and yes, it is almost impossible to believe in (there is no social structure in the world in which these people would even know each other, much less be friends). So why do I love it? Three words, honey: nekkid boy bootie. Plus the music is good. And the people are pretty. Everyone dresses so nice, and lives in such cute homes. And there aren't currently any TV shows that I like better and come on at a time I can regularly watch (though I am occasionally out on Sunday evenings, I am always home on Monday night, when they encore the week's episode).

2. Who is your favorite television star? Uhhhh...let me go look at my TV Guide...there are a lot of TV stars I'd like to sleep with, one or two I'd like to partner at a dinner party, but a favorite? you mean people-currently-in-production on TV? know, that guy, the one with the about Jon Stewart of The Daily Show. He's awf'ly cute, and funny, and seems intelligent. I'd date him. I'd even pay for dinner.

3. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Bewitched. I watched it every day, religiously. I wanted to grow up to be Endora. And I kind of did, too.

4. What show do you think should have been cancelled by now? Sweetie, if every show I hated were suddenly cancelled, there wouldn't be enough left for two channels of programming. But in general I hate trashy talk-shows (Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Montel) and reality shows (Cops in particular, but also all these new Survivor/Temptation-Island-esque travesties). They corrupt the morals of our citizenry more surely and insidiously than all the sex and violence Hollywood could ever invent.

5. What new show do you hope escapes the axe this season? None of them. Cancel 'em all and start fresh, I say! Oh, but if they ever finally got rid of Once and Again, my Grandmother would never stop complaining about it. And for God's sake, don't take her ER away, I'll never have another moment's peace!

The Friday Five for April 12, 2002

1. What is your favorite restaurant and why? Pasta Pomodoro on College Avenue in Rockridge. It's cheap, the waiters are usually cute, it has a really nice patio, it's in a great people-watching neighborhood, and the food is invariably good...not exciting or exquisite, but dependably good.

2. What fast food restaurant are you partial to? I consider Boston Market to be fast food (love their rotisserie turkey, their baked meatloaf, oh that macaroni & cheese!), but I also like to swing by Wendy's when I'm in the mood for a burger and fries.

3. What are your standards and rules for tipping? Generally, double the sales tax and round up to the nearest dollar (in California, our sales tax is 8.25%, so that works out to more than standard). If the service was exceptionally good, I do 20% (double the total and knock one digit off the end).

4. Do you usually order an appetizer and/or dessert? It really depends on where I'm eating and how many people are with me. If I can share an appetizer, or if the desserts are special, then definitely; but on a general basis, restaurant meals are so big nowadays that by the time I finish my salad, vegetable, and entree (I seldom eat my potatoes), I don't have room left for yummies.

5. What do you usually order to drink at a restaurant? I generally order iced tea, it goes with everything; in cooler months I'll order coffee and a glass of ice-water; if it's a fancy restaurant with gourmet food, I don't like to cloud up my palate so I usually have mineral water with a slice of lime.

Questions Culled from Other Sources:

(I'm starting with the 15-question version of the Galaxy Girl questionnaire, but I am following it with questions from other email and online many of the questions are the same, after all...but I am not going to pause and note the provenance of the question, but props to Tracy, Tom, LeRoy, and William for positing the questions in the first place)

1. Your Stage Name: Marlénè Manners (née Martini-Dahling)

2. How did you come by that name? I have the same birthday as the fabulous Marlene Dietrich, December 27 (she would have been 100 this year...I am slightly younger), which is how I chose my first name (though I had to change to the French spelling to maintain a degree of originality); my old surname came from what I always said to the bartenders..."Martini, dahling, very dry with a twist"--my new surname came when I couldn't use the old one anymore, and had to think of something that started with an "M" and somehow suited my personality...Martini, Marquetry, Marzipan, Mandolin, Mandarin, Mannerist...Manners!

3. Do you have any favorite sports or hobbies? Hobbies: I collect...costume jewelry, sweaters, books, videos, magazines, tchotchkes and bibelots...pretty much anything I can buy. But sports I do not like, none, not at all...however, I do rather enjoy athletes....

4. What's your favorite kind of...
    Candy: Dark chocolates with orange creme centers.

    Ice cream: Rocky road with Hershey's syrup.

    Cake: Sacher torte (that's dark chocolate cake with raspberry jam filling and dark chocolate ganache icing).

    Pie: I'm torn between Apple and Strawberry-Rhubarb.

    Soft drink: Stewart's Key Lime Soda.

    Coffee beverage: Coffee. Just good bitter black coffee.

    Entree: risotto del mare (rice in cream sauce with vegetables and shellfish...but not crab, I have developed a punishing gastrointestinal intolerance for crab).

    Vegetable: sugar snap peas.

    Fruit: peaches...especially Freestone peaches, sliced and slathered in clotted cream.

    Cuisine style: Chinese or Italian

5. What's your favorite flower and/or plant? Alstromeria lilies for flowers, willow trees for the non-flowering fave.

6. What's your favorite color?,,, aubergine with a slight mauvey cast.

7. What's your favorite gemstone? Diamonds, dahling! Especially colored diamonds...most especially big fat champagne diamonds from Harry Winston...though I do have a certain fondness for Cubic Zirconium, too.

8. What's your favorite animal? Elephants!

9. What are your favorite three...
    Books? The Persian Boy (Mary Renault), Auntie Mame (Patrick Dennis), and The Movie Lover (Richard Friedel).

    Movies? Auntie Mame, The Women, and Wilde.

    Magazines? Vanity Fair, W, Architectural Digest.

    TV shows?Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, Queer as Folk

10. Where is your favorite vacation destination? Hawaii!! Aloha, darling! Victoria BC runs a close second.

11. What is your favorite swear-word? Sheize (I think I spelled that's German for shit).

12. What is your very favorite thing to do on a Saturday? Lay in bed reading and watching television.

13. Who is your favorite recording artist? Ella Fitzgerald

14. What's your favorite song...
    To perform? "The Lady is a Tramp" by Ella Fitzgerald

    To listen to: "Dunq'io son" from Rossini's Barber of Seville with Maria Callas and Tito Gobbi.

    To dance to: "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-lite.

    To have sex to: Sex? What's that? Oh, now I remember ... Strauss' "The Emperor Waltz."

15. Who is your favorite cartoon character? Cruella DeVil (if she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will).

16. Cherry or apple?: Do you mean pie? Or fruit? I love fresh cherries, but I prefer apples for pie.

17. What's your favorite holiday?: Thanksgiving

18. Does size really matter?: Yes, it does...although we who are possessed of an average-size phallus (and those possessed of the smaller "sample-size") would like to pretend that it doesn't. But I find there's nothing more sexually impressive than a big dick.

19. Do you wear pajamas or sleep in the nude?: Nude, unless it's really cold, then I wear a t-shirt to keep my shoulders warm and socks in case my tootsies peep out.

20. Candles or incense?: Candles are nice, though I prefer electric illumination; and I absolutely loathe incense.

21. Car or truck?: I drive a car...I wouldn't have a truck if you gave it to me. Just a little too butch.

22. Laugh or cry at a funeral?: Neither! I stand there very quietly, smile encouragingly to the grievers, and hope it will be over soon.

23. Do you believe in chain letters?: Chain letters are evil.

24. Do you sleep with your stuffed animal?: Yes, my teddy bear Antinöus Bill.

25. Do you love anyone?: I love everyone...except for certain people. And I am not currently in love.

26. What's the worst thing you have ever done?: When I was sixteen, I stole my Grandfather's wallet and tried to make it look like he'd lost it; I then spent all his cash and charged up his cards on makeup and drag and stuff; stealing is bad, stealing from family is really bad, but stealing from an Alzheimer's and Parkinson's sufferer who can't talk and can barely walk and probably doesn't remember his own name is utterly reprehensible. I got caught, incidentally, by shoplifting while I had a load of charged loot on me.

27. Obsession?: My current obsession is with cubic zirconium bracelets from the Home Shopping Network.

28. How often do you clean your room?: Maybe three times a year.

29. Number 1 on your list to have sex with?: Brad Pitt. I don't know why, but he turns me on somethin' fierce. There are men I find more attractive, hotter and sexier, even...but I just really want to have sex with Brad Pitt.

30. Sexiest person you know: James. I'm not sure why, he's rather short and balding, but he's cute and kind of vulnerable somehow, and his jeans suggest somewhat voluminous contents. God, I hope he doesn't read this blog.

31. What do you wanna name your kids?: _____, _____, and _____. I have no intention of infesting the world with my own offspring.

32. Pepsi or Dr. Pepper?: Dr. Pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?

33. Is Vanilla Ice cool or does he still suck?: He always sucked. He always will suck. He's a talentless dweeb who never had the sense to get out of the spotlight.

34. Rather eat at home or out?: Oh, definitely out. I love eating in restaurants.

35. Favorite cartoon?: In the newspaper? The Norm. On TV? It's a toss-up between Spongebob Squarepants and Dexter's Lab.

36. Where are your piercings?: On my earlobes...just the two standards.

37. Drugs?: No, thank you, I'm in recovery. I was never really into drugs, anyway. A little pot in high school. I tried acid once (loved the high, hated the hangover). A brush with Vicodin recently. That's all. I was always terrified by drugs, because those would make me like my parents.

38. If you could be reincarnated, what would you come back as?: A gay porn star, or someone who looks and acts like one.

39. Have you got any pets?: Not at the moment. And if the SPCA finds out about me, I never will.

40. Brownies or cupcakes?: Brownies...Duncan Hines dark chocolate mix, to be precise.

41. If you had 24 hours left to live, how would you spend it?: Writing down everything I've learned. And eating.

42. Cat-person or dog-person?: Dogs, please...I especially love little tiny dogs. I hate cats. HATE THEM!

43. What's better, bass or guitar?: You need both, don't you?

44. Is your writing messy or neat?: It looks neat, if a bit curly, but it is in fact quite illegible. That's why I type everything.

45. Where do you want to live?: Here in Oakland...but in a large apartment near Lake Merritt.

46. How many kids do you want?: Zero. Zilch. Negative integers, if possible.

47. Habla español?: Sorry, no. Je parle un peu de française, and parlato pico d'Italiano, but I only know as much Spanish as one can pick up from Sesame Street and Mexican restaurants.

48. Have you ever run away?: Yes. I wrapped a few belongings in a bandanna and tied it to the end of a bamboo rod, and set off to find adventure in the manner of cartoon children. I got to the end of the block before I realized that I looked fairly stupid, that I didn't know where I was going, that I was going to get hungry soon, and might have to go to the bathroom in the near I went home.

49. Does anyone owe you money?: Yes! Uncle Sam! HAHAHAHAHA! I'm getting about $500 back from overwithheld taxes.

50. Are you happy or sad right now?: Neither. I am content, amused, and interested. Besides, I can be happy and sad at once.

51. What do you think you will die of?: Neurological disorders run in my family, so I'll probably be taken out by a stroke or aneurysm.

52. Worst smell in the world: Ammonia.

53. Favorite place to go: Shopping. Anywhere.

54. What do you want to be when you grow up?: A novelist. A demigod. A good person.

55. Do you go to church?: I escort my Grandmother to her church, I don't consider that "going to church" except in the most technical sense. I have an extreme dislike of all religion.

56. What do you do when you're bored?: If I was doing anything, I wouldn't be bored; if I am bored, there must be nothing to do.

57. Book or magazine?: To read? A book...I don't read magazines, I only look at the pictures.

58. Ever seen a ghost?: No. At least I don't think so. I saw something I thought was a ghost at the time, but I was really really drunk, so it was more likely a hallucination.

59. Do you believe in witchcraft?: Sure, as far as I can believe in anything I haven't seen or done myself.

60. Do you sleep with the music on?: Yes.

61. Do men suck?: A lot of them do, God bless 'em!

62. Do women suck?: I've heard such, but that some of them don't like to.

63. Ever been arrested?: Yes (see above). I was at Emporium buying drag with my Grandfather's stolen credit card, and I wanted to buy this really cute snakeskin purse; but nobody was coming over to wait on me, and I was getting impatient, so I just slipped the purse into my shopping bag and made for the exit; little did I realize that the security station was right there on the other side of the counter, and they nabbed me the second I touched the exit door. They didn't press the charge, though; they just called my Grandmother to come get me, which was much much worse.

64. Craziest thing you've ever done: Fall in love with a straight boy. And I'm so crazy, I did it twice! Actually three times, but I don't count the third, since he later came out.

65. What's the band you hate the most?: I don't hate bands, I just ignore them.

66. Worst TV show?: The O'Reilley Factor. OH! I hate that guy!

67. Have you ever cheated on someone?: No.

68. Have you ever been cheated on?: Yes, by my first "official" boyfriend. I realized that it was time to break up with him...not because he cheated, but because I didn't care in the least.

69. Beer or wine?: I have always hated beer; I no longer drink wine (though there was a time I fancied myself a connoisseur...when in fact I was just a sot with a vocabulary).

70. Favorite number(s): Eight, and One Million.

71. Horoscope sign? Capricorn with Gemini Rising and Scorpio Moon.

72. Favorite word or name? Two different things, darling: Word, rodomontade; Name, Aloysius.

73. Hometown- Oakland, CA.

74. Place of birth- Fort Ord, CA (now decommissioned, turned into a college and absorbed by Monterey).

75. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Yes, and in embarrassingly cold water.

76. Do you make fun of people? Why else would I bother to get up every day? But only if they deserve it.

77. Have you ever been convicted of a crime (traffic tickets don't count)? No. I've only had two traffic tickets, anyway.

78. Do you get along with your Mom? If I don't have to see or talk to her too much. I love her a lot, but our personalities don't always mesh well.

79. Most humiliating moment? Throwing up on the cock (and in the pants) of a gorgeous Czech I picked up in the bar...he was quite large, I was quite drunk, and I couldn't control the gag reflex he triggered.

80. Most memorable moment? Seeing my niece being born. I was definitely at the wrong end of the activity, holding a camera of all stupid things, and there is something quite simply yucky about seeing your own little sister from that angle and in that circumstance. It was wildly unpleasant, and I don't think I'll ever forget it no matter how hard I try. And yes, it was "magical"...but only after they cleaned the screaming little bundle.

81. What do you look for in the opposite sex- I only want to make sure she won't fit my clothes...get away from that garment rack, you bitch!

82. Favorite toothpaste? Crest Tartar Control with Peroxide and Baking Soda.

83. Croutons or bacon bits? Both, please. And don't be stingy, baby!

84. Shoe company? Giorgio Brutini

85. Cologne/Perfume? Obsession for Men; White Diamonds for Women.

86. Website? Mine! And this one; and this one...oh, hell, go look at my links column!

87. Search Engine? Google.

88. Subject in School? English, History.

89. Least favorite subject? Gym...I think it's dreadful that these muscle-headed, pot-bellied ex-jocks should be allowed to terrorize and demerit innocent children. I had to take an equivalency exam to get out of school because I had flunked seven years'-worth of gym.

90. How many pillows? Four, at least, as well as Antinöus Bill.

91. Swimming pools or lakes? Pools. You never know where that lake water has been!

92. Who is your best friend and why? Dalton/Daisy. He's always there for me; he makes me feel good about myself without demeaning himself; he's cute as a bug and sweet as pie; several other reasons I can't write about without getting all teary-eyed.

93. How big of a family do you come from? Two parents, three step-parents (in shifts, mother divorced her second husband, is currently with her third, my stepmother is deceased), five separate pairs of grandparents (mostly now deceased, two grandmothers left, I live with the Paternal GM, and the Maternal GM forgot I exist); one sister, two step-sisters, one half-sister, two half-brothers, a niece, a nephew; three aunts, two uncles; five first-cousins...let's not get started on the other cousins, who number in the hundreds. Let's just say I come from a small nuclear family and a vast extended family.
Whoo! I'm getting tired! How about a beefcake break?!

Ah, very refreshing...shall we resume?
94. How old were you when you got your first:

    Kiss? was very cute.

    Boyfriend/girlfriend? Boyfriend, 20; Girlfriend, 14.

    Car? (oh, the shame) 30.

    Broken heart? Sweetie, I was born with a broken heart. I really don't remember the first time.

    Sexual experience? Full-on erect-penis nudity-involved sex? 19. But get this...the first mutual orgasm experience came three years later. And people wonder why I'm not so crazy about sex.

95. Parents' names: Kathryn Marie; Robert Eugene, Sr.

96. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: My last cake had thirty...but I'm 34 (I don't celebrate single years anymore, I now only age in lots of five).

97. Date that you regularly blow them out: I've never regularly had birthday parties. My birthday (I believe I mentioned above, a long time ago, that it is December 27) is in that social dead-zone between Christmas and New Year's.

98. Height: Six feet, three and one-quarter inches.

100. Eye Color: Grey-blue

101. Hair color: Brown-grey.

102. Tattoos: None. The very idea! I can't handle pain, and could never commit to an anything of such duration.

103. How much do you love your job: Not so much as I once did. But I have time to sit and waste doing this, so I guess I like it fairly well.

104. Been in love before? Yes, several times. It never worked out. It was never even reciprocal.

105. Been to Europe? Not yet...

106. Been toilet papering? No! How rude!

107. Been toilet papered? Of course not.

108. Loved someone so much it made you cry? Is there any other way?

109. Been in a car crash? Yes, wasn't very dramatic, nobody was hurt, but Fred's car was never the same again.

110. Dumper or Dumpee? I've never really been dumped, and never dumped anyone else. The shamefully small handful of brief relationships I've been in just sort of fizzled out.

111. Salad Dressing: Caesar.

112. Color of socks: Whichever goes with my shoes.

113. Lucky Number: I have no luck. But when asked to choose a number, I usually pick seven.

114. Place to be kissed: Wherever you like, sweetie! But I love a kiss on the Continental!

115. Day of the week: Sunday.

116. When Was Your Last Hospital Visit: Almost twenty years ago, when I had an infected lymph node removed from under my chin, leaving behind an ugly scar and a lasting hatred for cats (a cat scratch is what infected the node with tuberculosis).

117. What Color is your Bedroom Carpet: It's Persian, grey background with indigo, burgundy, ivory, and black in the pattern.

118. How many times did you fail your permit and/or drivers' license test?: Once. Most humiliating.

119. What do you think of Ouija Boards? Stupid, but don't screw around with that you can't control.

120. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I don't look into the future, because I can't see there. If I could, I'd probably never get out of bed.

121. Which single store would you choose to max your credit card? Saks Fifth Avenue (but not my credit card, mind you...I don't have one).

122. What words or phrases do you overuse? Fabulous! Darling! Fuck!

123. Most annoying thing? People getting in my way, especially on the road.

124. Best thing: Sparkles.

125. Bedtime: Around twelve-ish.

126. What color pants are you wearing right now? Tan.

127. What was the last thing you ate? A Pepperidge Farm cookie (since then, I've had red grapes, and clam chowder, and prawn scampi).

128. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Mauve.

129. Where would you like to go for a honeymoon? Kauai. It's beautiful, and there's nothing to do there but screw and swim.

130. Do you wear contacts? No...I used to, but they itched too much and always bothered me and required too many accessories and didn't make me look any younger.

131. Siblings and their ages? Suzie (sister), 32 until June 9; the rest of them I really don't remember. Stepsisters...I know Quinn is older than me and Heidi is younger than Suzie; the others...Becky, LeRoy and Nathan are all in their early twenties I believe. I'll ask Mother tomorrow.

132. Last movie you watched In the theatre? Gosford Park. On TV, I don't remember.

133. Are you too shy to ask someone out? "Shy" doesn't even begin to describe my terror of rejection. I've never in my life asked anybody out.

134. Do you like scary or happy movies better? Hmmm...I don't really like either. I like a comedy, and a pleasant ending, but I hate those fuzzy-sentimental type of "happy" movies.

135. Summer or Winter? Winter.

136. Hugs or Kisses? Do you mean Hershey's? I prefer Hershey Kisses; but in real life, I like hugs.

137. Relationship or one night stands? Both! Neither! Much unhappiness is caused by making that choice.

138. Chinese Astrology Sign: Ram, or sheep, or goat, or whatever it is...there doesn't seem to be any agreement.

139. Weight: More than I was and less than I eventually will be...oh, okay, I'll come clean: 211 lbs as of last Saturday.

140. Sexual Position: I'm a bottom, but mostly because I'm lazy; I prefer to just lie there and let the other guy do whatever he wants (except talk...I hate that).

141. Sound: A soprano hitting and holding a high note for a really long time.

142. Thing to do when alone: Watch television. Drive. Masturbate. Read. Almost anything, really, except eating. I hate eating alone.

143. What is your fondest adult memory? (not adult xxx, but that could work too) My first standing ovation, after performing "Something's Gotta Give" at the Living Sober Fall Follies, 1999. I hadn't been on stage in years, and I had never before received a standing ovation. It was quite thrilling! There's nothing finer!

144. If you could spend the next 48 hours doing anything with anyone, anywhere, with no monetary worries at all, what would that event be? Shopping-trip to Manhattan with Bill Gates' credit card and some hot hired boy-toy who looks like Tom Welling in the biggest suite at the Waldorf Astoria.

145. When you were a kid, what did you wanna be when you grew up? A butler, a supernatural immortal, and/or a woman.

146. If you could have 3 wishes, but none of them could be based on money or love, what would they be? 1) The Power to Smite at Will, and from a distance (not for money, just power); 2) Shattering physical beauty, with all the trimmings (not for love, honey, just plain old vanity); 3) a sixteen-hour orgasm.

147. What do you look for in a guy? Totally give me the Classified Ad skinny. Nice face, but not too nice (only slightly better- or worse-looking than myself); Height (preferably taller than me, but not freakishly so); Intelligence and humility and humor. In reasonably good shape, but I'm not picky (though I do have trouble with obesity and excessive body-hair). Kindness is very very important. Easy-going attitude. Similar tastes in movies and music. That's about it.

148. When was the last time you locked your keys in your car? At John and Nick's wedding in Guerneville, October of last year. I put them in my overcoat, then later decided I didn't need my overcoat because it wasn't cold enough, and locked it in the trunk. Fortunately, the trunk lock is controlled from inside, and the rear window was open just enough for a fellow guest to get in there with a wire hanger and open her up.

149. The worst drinking experience you've had? The thing with the Czech and the puke, above, was pretty bad; but there was the time I got kicked off an AC Transit bus because I was so blitzed, then I threw up on the sidewalk (before witnesses) as I was walking the rest of the way home, and then passed out on my own front porch because I couldn't find the key (it was in my hand), where Grandmother found me at 9pm (I'd been drinking since 11am). That was the last time I drank, and I was in an AA meeting the very next day.

150. When did you come out? I was never IN! But the time I realized that I was indeed a homosexual, not just a queen, and what exactly that meant, and then told someone, I was sixteen.

151. Do you know the way to San Jose? From my office...go up 8th to Madison, turn left, then left again on 4th, get on 880 South, drive about 45 miles, and voilà! My aunt Terry lives in San Jose, I go there fairly often.

152. What's the WORST Xmas present you've ever received? A GI Joe doll. I specifically asked for a Big Jim doll, the bodybuilder who came with a fake bronze arm-band that popped off when you made his plastic biceps flex...and I got this desert-gear GI Joe with a velveteen beard, so painfully butch, and I pitched a fit. I was six or seven, I think.

153. What do you do with all of your change? I usually drop it on the floor when I take off my pants, and then leave it there as an enticement to get other people to clean my room.

154. Have you ever shaved your armpits? Quite recently, yes. It always itches the next day, but I really like not having the hair there. If I had the time and energy I would depile my entire body.

155. Have you ever shaved your own head? No. My mother once shaved my head as a punishment for cutting off my sister's bangs (nipping my cosmetology career in the bud). I was so vain, even as a child, that I wore a stocking cap the rest of the summer.

156. Do you love yourself? Almost nightly...but seriously, most of the time I do, though sometimes I don't.

157. How did you get into blogging? Rula! Rula did it! S/he is a blogger from way-back, and when s/he launched the Galaxy Girls weblog, I was addicted immediately, and soon had to have my own blog. So here we all are.

158. If you were cheese, what kind of cheese would you be? Cheshire...expensive, very white, a little crusty, a trifle dry, a bit bland, kinda salty, not very well-known, hard outside but crumbly inside.

159. Besides members of your family, who was your greatest influence as a child? Liberace. Seriously! My step-grandmother had a big glossy commemorative book from the Liberace Museum in Vegas, with pix of Lee lounging around his deliciously gaudy homes in a variety of pixilated outfits and loads of jewelry. I wanted to be just like him! And I kind of am...except I can't play piano, and I don't pretend to not be gay, and I do have some taste.

160. First record you ever bought with your own money? Wham! Make it Big. And yes, I am suitably ashamed of myself.

161. First kiss: boy or girl? Girl...I was twelve. She was twelve. She thought I was cute. I found the experience strangely uninteresting. For the first boy...I was nineteen, he was seventeen. I learned then exactly what all the fuss was about.

162. Have you seen either of them in 10 years? No...and I don't think I'd want to. Hell, I don't even remember the girl's name...and I want to remember Joey as the hot little seventeen-year-old slut he was, not the thirty-three-year-old bitter queen he probably is now (if he's still alive).

I am done. No more surveys. Promise! Until next Friday, anyway!

No comments:

Post a Comment